I also think that an individual employee needs to put a discount on options because you don't have the ability to diversify, your risk profile is vastly differe

I also think that an individual employee needs to put a discount on options because you don't have the ability to diversify, your risk profile is vastly different than the investors, and the founders presumably have effective veto over exits which allows them to capture more of the value in a middle of the road outcome like a acquihire. I personally think that options should just be used to mitigate the career "risk" of the instability of the company and maybe having to move down-market into some less valuable skills if that's what the company needs.