The speculation around this seems rather pointless. Obviously, at this time, the plane has neither crashed into anything or magically converted water into fuel,

The speculation around this seems rather pointless. Obviously, at this time, the plane has neither crashed into anything or magically converted water into fuel, nor has it landed anywhere it could fly off from again. So how about we find it first (stuck in some jungle as its guaranteed to be) and then let facts guide our wild speculations?