I hope, for this man's sake and for the reporter too, that this story's evaporation of its shelf life is expiring. It just feels like something that belongs in

I hope, for this man's sake and for the reporter too, that this story's evaporation of its shelf life is expiring. It just feels like something that belongs in those trashy grocery store gossip magazines, meanwhile we're the rubberneckers causing some sort of metaphorical traffic jam.