3 ms·

I always feel bad when I see these posts. I'm 26 and in a major city, but finding dates is a serious problem for me. My looks are only slightly below average

I always feel bad when I see these posts. I'm 26 and in a major city, but finding dates is a serious problem for me. My looks are only slightly below average (4/10) but my personality is probably the deal breaker.

aegiso 13y ago
Having been where you've been, may I suggest that the dealbreaker is that you're treating dating like a World of Warcraft inventory checklist? I wish someone had told me that when I was saying the same things.
- gargarplex 13y ago
  Okay, so I definitely treat dating like a WoW inventory checklist... (not sure what the next step is)
  - tunesmith 13y ago
    There's no secret to it. You just have to doggedly keep at it.
- riffraff 13y ago
  FWIW, I do think there are similarities between dating and RPGs that I wish I had understood before * you can improve your character: confidence is important, if you feel ugly sometimes you can do stuff about it (i.e. go to gym). Ditto if you are a boring talker, or if you are a poor listener. * grind. If you are, like I was, a guy that has a couple hours on a weekend to meet a new possible date it's hard to find the "right" one. Try to increase the chances (go out more, frequent new places) and do try more.
  - gargarplex 13y ago
    This is fair enough and true. Back when I was in my early twenties and late teens I used to grind all the time (going out to bars and talking to women). And although I experienced more than my fair share of rejection/disinterest, I achieved plenty of success and abundance. These days I am just lazily sending out messages on OKCupid. And when I do go out to bars, I almost never approach. So the "grind" reminder is totally fair.
roel_v 13y ago
Cheer up, there must be below-average looking people with shitty personalities just like yourself out there who are just right for you! (just kidding and don't take it personal - this one was too easy to pass up...)
- gargarplex 13y ago
  Haha I had to laugh
brc 13y ago
Everybody gets what they want out of dating. If you want excitement, you'll get excitement. If you want stability, you'll get stability. If you want to confirm an opinion of yourself as undateable - guess what, that's what you'll get. Most people say they want one thing but actually don't work towards that thing. They just pay it lip service.
philbarr 13y ago
Try out my guaranteed chat up line: "Polar bear! It's just something to break the ice..." Then laugh drunkenly at your own joke - that bit's important. Worked for me - married over 10 years now.

aegiso 13y ago

Having been where you've been, may I suggest that the dealbreaker is that you're treating dating like a World of Warcraft inventory checklist? I wish someone had told me that when I was saying the same things.

gargarplex 13y ago
Okay, so I definitely treat dating like a WoW inventory checklist... (not sure what the next step is)
- tunesmith 13y ago
  There's no secret to it. You just have to doggedly keep at it.
riffraff 13y ago
FWIW, I do think there are similarities between dating and RPGs that I wish I had understood before * you can improve your character: confidence is important, if you feel ugly sometimes you can do stuff about it (i.e. go to gym). Ditto if you are a boring talker, or if you are a poor listener. * grind. If you are, like I was, a guy that has a couple hours on a weekend to meet a new possible date it's hard to find the "right" one. Try to increase the chances (go out more, frequent new places) and do try more.
- gargarplex 13y ago
  This is fair enough and true. Back when I was in my early twenties and late teens I used to grind all the time (going out to bars and talking to women). And although I experienced more than my fair share of rejection/disinterest, I achieved plenty of success and abundance. These days I am just lazily sending out messages on OKCupid. And when I do go out to bars, I almost never approach. So the "grind" reminder is totally fair.

roel_v 13y ago

Cheer up, there must be below-average looking people with shitty personalities just like yourself out there who are just right for you! (just kidding and don't take it personal - this one was too easy to pass up...)

gargarplex 13y ago
Haha I had to laugh

brc 13y ago

Everybody gets what they want out of dating. If you want excitement, you'll get excitement. If you want stability, you'll get stability. If you want to confirm an opinion of yourself as undateable - guess what, that's what you'll get. Most people say they want one thing but actually don't work towards that thing. They just pay it lip service.

philbarr 13y ago

Try out my guaranteed chat up line: "Polar bear! It's just something to break the ice..." Then laugh drunkenly at your own joke - that bit's important. Worked for me - married over 10 years now.