The second "esteem" is "aktning", which have a bit different connotation. They got a "no" added in the translation, which inverted the meaning. What is meant,

The second "esteem" is "aktning", which have a bit different connotation. They got a "no" added in the translation, which inverted the meaning. What is meant, i believe, is that it is better with a real basis for your view of yourself, e.g. that you think you have reached something that needed hard work in some way (the "work" I use here could be just thinking inside your head). The second quote from the author is, I believe, about getting to where you're able to be expectant and happy to see your true self. Edit: To me this seems like a literary author trying to obfuscate a simple point: "It is better for your ability to work to be someone that is happy by trying to see who you are, instead of following suspect gurus." That this was made poetic and hard to understand is imho a really fun irony... But perhaps I've known too many literary/idealistic people which were so good with language that they could rationalize anything to themselves. Edit 2: Tried to make what I believe this means clearer.