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A downvote is not a punch in the face. It's not an act of violence. It's not even an insult. It doesn't materially harm you. A downvote is "I don't think
by lsc 13y ago
A downvote is not a punch in the face. It's not an act of violence. It's not even an insult. It doesn't materially harm you. A downvote is "I don't think this comment is contributing to the conversation" - I think downvoting the comment I downvoted was completely appropriate. This doesn't mean that I think the site would be better off without you; this just means that I thought the site would have been better without that particular comment.
I'm not going to downvote /this/ comment, because I think it's contributing something. It's... too large and complex for me to properly digest and respond to right now, but I think there is something there... you are attempting to convey something to me... which is going to be quite difficult, because we have very different ways of relating to emotions, and because we have very different jargon, and even when we mostly agree on a word (like your example of 'obviously') the emotional connotations associated with that word are quite different.
I suspect that we even have a different way of relating to the emotional connotations of a word, and separating those from the thing actually being described.
But, if this was your response the other night, when I had more time, I likely would have put significant effort into responding instead of just downvoting.
- hosh 13y agoMy point is that I doubt you actually examined the emotion that arose where you felt you needed to downvote it at all. It does not matter if it is not a punch in the face, act of violence or an insult. You could have not downvoted and simply let it go. Why didn't you? Your reasoning is that you are helping contribute to the site, and it is nothing personal. That's fine, and perhaps admirable. So why do you feel that this is helping the community? Where does the need to help the community arise from? Where is it located in your body? These are experiential. I think you are right that we have different ways of relating to the emotional connotation of the word. There is a particular skill at play here. Hmm. I'm not sure how to describe it without jargon. In order to understand a word, you experience the meaning. That experience tends to be an aggregation of a lot of things: patterns of sensations within the body, which tends to be interpreted as plays of emotions, which give rise to a narrative... a reason. Since this experience plays out at the sensory level, you can observe this on other people. Some people see things. Some people hear things. Some people get things. (There is mismatch when say, you hear an exchange like, "Do you see? It's crystal clear." "No, you don't get it. You don't grasp the significance.") The other thing is that we tend to think awareness is the same as experience. It's not. It is possible to simply have awareness without content. There are also examples where someone's body might experience something, but the person is not aware of it, often because there is armoring or aversion. Further, there are people who tend to associate thought with consciousness and awareness. Typically (but not always), such a person do not have enough awareness of the emotions at play. I speak of these things because I've been like that before, so I know what it is like to be emotionally clueless and what it is like to be much more in tune with the play of emotions. If most of your awareness rests in your intellect, and you feel comfortable using your intellect, you're not as likely to be aware of the underlying emotional or sensory experiences. So if you attempted to use "positive thinking", you could make a change in the pattern of thought. But that does not necessarily make a change in the pattern of emotion. The Litany Against Fear from Dune is a great example. That never worked for me :-D But I know folks where it does work for them. There is enough awareness and presence with the emotional that, when they speak "I will let fear pass me by..." it really does pass them by. The experience the fear arising in their body ... and leaving. (And that is actually how you release. You allow it to go on its own). It never worked for me because I was simply pushing symbols around in my mind, yet since my awareness was not on the fear, there is no connection between my intent/will with the emotion. For me, I have to direct my intent/will to tune into the fear, recognize it, and watch it, and allow it to pass out of my system on its own. Simply speaking the concepts are powerless platitudes for me without the presence of my mind in my emotions. Does that help?
- SamReidHughes 13y agoDownvoting is better than other ways of telling a person their posting is bad because it keeps the signal:noise ratio of the thread lower.
- hosh 13y ago@samreidhughes Ok. Then in that case, my question to you: why do you feel that keeping the signal to noise ratio of the thread is a good thing? Where is that experience arising from in your body?