6 ms·

I've had a similar outlook for most of my life and have faced the same response. The criticism I faced for simply being realistic and pointing out flaws in the

by dubfan 13y ago

I've had a similar outlook for most of my life and have faced the same response. The criticism I faced for simply being realistic and pointing out flaws in the "power of positive thinking" was overwhelming and made me think there really was something wrong with me. It wasn't until I was out of the American public school system that I was able to completely distance myself from these ideas and associate only with people who were similarly realistic and grounded (not negative).

hosh 13y ago
Grounding and solidity does not necessarily make something feel more real. Rather, grounding and solidity feels real to you. There are other modes of consciousness where less grounded and less solid experiences will feel real. It is also possible to train your awareness to slip between these different modes of consciousness. Most people tend to stick with one or two modes of consciousness as that feels the most familiar and comfortable. Further, depending on what kind of emotional triggers you have, you might be leaking a kind of emotion that is perceived as negative to other people. To you, you might be looking at something "realistically". Perhaps others are afraid to look at that stuff. Or perhaps, you have some form of aversion yourself where you avoid experiencing the "positive". (I cannot really tell just by reading your comment, just offering possibilities). In all these cases, I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with a person, whether they are experiencing different modes of consciousness or they have aversions. Having said all of that, I had mentioned in other parts of the thread: "positive thinking" is usually taught incorrectly by people who suck at it. To use it correctly, you actually do have to look at what you don't want to look at. It is also not enough to think positively; you need to generate a different feeling until that feeling feels "real", from which the thinking will naturally shift into a different direction. As such, this kind of stuff requires quite a bit of skill with emotions.
- redblacktree 13y ago
  Where would you suggest a person start if he wanted to gain this "skill with emotions?" That's a serious request. On re-reading, it sounds snarky, but I don't know another way to phrase it.
  - deleted 13y ago
    [deleted]
  - jaredsohn 13y ago
    I think you can start by reading up on emotional intelligence to gain awareness and then applying it more to new situations.
  - hosh 13y ago
    Sure :-) The easiest way is to find someone who is emotionally sane. You probably have at least one such person in your life. That person tends to remain calm, yet seem to be fully aware of what is going on around them. They might quietly step in to calm the situation, or perhaps, just their presence seem to calm any panic of fear. People tend to go to them for advice, not necessarily for solving problems, but because hard problems don't seem to seem as hard when you talk to such a person. It might be your mother, father, or grandmother, or grandfather. It might be be a mentor or a teacher. You ask them for help with getting in touch with your emotions. If you have someone like this in your life, and they know you well, then they'll be happy to help you on this... often because they can see how you suffer from being unable to process emotions well. There are other approaches: - Take the 10-day Vipassana retreat. You would get in touch with the things that arises within you. - There are various shamanic medicine ceremonies using some form of psychedelics. These are guided, though the quality will vary. Since psychedelics alter your experiences, it opens up ways to experience emotions. - You can go to a licensed therapist. Like gurus, meditation teachers, and shamans, quality varies ... and sometimes, therapists will have their own pet theories (as you can see in other parts of the thread on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). A licensed hypnotherapist, or a psychologist/psychiatrist that knows how to use hynotherapy and practices meditation themselves are likely to be able to better help you with this. (Since we're not talking about behavioral modification, we're talking about becoming more self-aware). There may be other indicators, but I don't know this space well. There is usually stigma attached to this since people associate this with going to get "fixed" rather than going to get advice. - There are also lots and lots of different kinds of seminars, workshops, etc. related to this, often crossing into the woo. Books are the last resort, though if you read a method and like it, you can check out their their CDs, videos, and attend seminars. Books are good for sampling techniques, though without an in-person guide, it might be difficult to touch intense emotions. On the other hand, if you do have someone in your life that is emotionally sane, you could ask them to help you work with techniques from the book. One book that is interesting is called the Sedona Method. I want to preface it to say that, what is written in the Sedona Method is not unique, though sometimes the language might make it appear so. The methods are solid though, and the authors used NLP to guide you through the experiences step by step. It is fairly accessible. Finally, if all else fails or you have more questions or want other ideas or where to go looking for this skill, feel free to contact me. Indirect means of contact are in my profile.

by dubfan 13y ago

hosh 13y ago

Grounding and solidity does not necessarily make something feel more real. Rather, grounding and solidity feels real to you. There are other modes of consciousness where less grounded and less solid experiences will feel real. It is also possible to train your awareness to slip between these different modes of consciousness. Most people tend to stick with one or two modes of consciousness as that feels the most familiar and comfortable. Further, depending on what kind of emotional triggers you have, you might be leaking a kind of emotion that is perceived as negative to other people. To you, you might be looking at something "realistically". Perhaps others are afraid to look at that stuff. Or perhaps, you have some form of aversion yourself where you avoid experiencing the "positive". (I cannot really tell just by reading your comment, just offering possibilities). In all these cases, I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with a person, whether they are experiencing different modes of consciousness or they have aversions. Having said all of that, I had mentioned in other parts of the thread: "positive thinking" is usually taught incorrectly by people who suck at it. To use it correctly, you actually do have to look at what you don't want to look at. It is also not enough to think positively; you need to generate a different feeling until that feeling feels "real", from which the thinking will naturally shift into a different direction. As such, this kind of stuff requires quite a bit of skill with emotions.

redblacktree 13y ago
Where would you suggest a person start if he wanted to gain this "skill with emotions?" That's a serious request. On re-reading, it sounds snarky, but I don't know another way to phrase it.
- deleted 13y ago
  [deleted]
- jaredsohn 13y ago
  I think you can start by reading up on emotional intelligence to gain awareness and then applying it more to new situations.
- hosh 13y ago
  Sure :-) The easiest way is to find someone who is emotionally sane. You probably have at least one such person in your life. That person tends to remain calm, yet seem to be fully aware of what is going on around them. They might quietly step in to calm the situation, or perhaps, just their presence seem to calm any panic of fear. People tend to go to them for advice, not necessarily for solving problems, but because hard problems don't seem to seem as hard when you talk to such a person. It might be your mother, father, or grandmother, or grandfather. It might be be a mentor or a teacher. You ask them for help with getting in touch with your emotions. If you have someone like this in your life, and they know you well, then they'll be happy to help you on this... often because they can see how you suffer from being unable to process emotions well. There are other approaches: - Take the 10-day Vipassana retreat. You would get in touch with the things that arises within you. - There are various shamanic medicine ceremonies using some form of psychedelics. These are guided, though the quality will vary. Since psychedelics alter your experiences, it opens up ways to experience emotions. - You can go to a licensed therapist. Like gurus, meditation teachers, and shamans, quality varies ... and sometimes, therapists will have their own pet theories (as you can see in other parts of the thread on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). A licensed hypnotherapist, or a psychologist/psychiatrist that knows how to use hynotherapy and practices meditation themselves are likely to be able to better help you with this. (Since we're not talking about behavioral modification, we're talking about becoming more self-aware). There may be other indicators, but I don't know this space well. There is usually stigma attached to this since people associate this with going to get "fixed" rather than going to get advice. - There are also lots and lots of different kinds of seminars, workshops, etc. related to this, often crossing into the woo. Books are the last resort, though if you read a method and like it, you can check out their their CDs, videos, and attend seminars. Books are good for sampling techniques, though without an in-person guide, it might be difficult to touch intense emotions. On the other hand, if you do have someone in your life that is emotionally sane, you could ask them to help you work with techniques from the book. One book that is interesting is called the Sedona Method. I want to preface it to say that, what is written in the Sedona Method is not unique, though sometimes the language might make it appear so. The methods are solid though, and the authors used NLP to guide you through the experiences step by step. It is fairly accessible. Finally, if all else fails or you have more questions or want other ideas or where to go looking for this skill, feel free to contact me. Indirect means of contact are in my profile.