Nice thought, except that temperature is simply a measure of speed. When something is said to be a certain temperature, it is said to be moving at such a speed

Nice thought, except that temperature is simply a measure of speed. When something is said to be a certain temperature, it is said to be moving at such a speed with a certain amount of kinetic energy. That is why when liquids get "hot" enough, they start emitting gas... which is really just particles that have essentially reached the escape speed of their respective surface tension (roughly speaking). Which is sort of a backwards way of saying that General Relativity actually talks about the relationship between speed and time, saying the faster an object is going, the slower (in a sense...) it is travelling through time.