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We won't have that kind of outside help available, but we are planning on having my wife stay home with the baby. When you were home from work having family ti

We won't have that kind of outside help available, but we are planning on having my wife stay home with the baby. When you were home from work having family time, did you interrupt it to answer emails or address work emergencies? I'm pretty much always on call, which I think is something I'll have to change.

conorh 13y ago
Will she be able to get any help (a babysitter even for a few hours every few days to start with), or do you have family close by that can help that way? In my experience those sorts of breaks are very important to keeping your sanity. There would be emergencies, although not often, and yes I would always answer them if I had to. Getting on a call is sometimes not possible when you have the kid so I used chat/IM more. My wife was very understanding this, mostly because she was not around much of the time as she was working very long hours! Jonathan the founder was also very understanding (really good guy) and if I really could not be available I would make sure the others knew. I also became very good at multi-tasking - feeding the baby while debugging server issues? No problem! ;) Would I do it this way again? I'm not sure, it was tough, but the company was a very good experience, and I don't think that I missed out on anything with my child, or that I was a terrible parent.
- seeksadvice 13y ago
  so are you no longer at the company? sounds like you had a fantastic support network.
  - conorh 13y ago
    Yes, I'm no longer at the company, this was 3.5 years ago and the company has since sold. I have my own little consulting company now (and a second child :).
avenger123 13y ago
The fact that your wife is staying home with the baby is going to make everything really much easier and doable. There is no need to change roles or slow down per se. Babies just want to sleep, poop and cry for the most part in the first few months. It's around months 8+ that things start getting interesting. Typically, most of the work is going to be done by your wife regardless of how much you want to be involved. Whatever you can do to help your wife then that's what you should do. So do the extra chores around the house, pick up the grocery shopping. Schedule time for her to go have some "me" time doing something (if she needs it - some mothers will want to be with their baby no matter what). Pay for house cleaning or add another shift to it. In your case, sleep is going to be important. Expect to wake up 3-4 times a night for a while. If you snore, save your wife the hassle of you and the baby and sleep in the basement or another room some nights of the week. For your own sanity, you may also want to do this. It might make sense to start bringing work home and do it at night if you want to spend more time at home. You need to be home early evening to provide help and support but it doesn't mean you can't do work after the baby is put to bed. Also, you'll have a bunch of appointments that you'll need to go to during the day. These are spaced out and are check ups. Overall, if you are a workaholic and work at all hours, that's going to have to change because the baby will dictate your schedule to some degree. In terms of spending time with the baby it becomes more relevant when they start to crawl and get into the toddler years. Changing jobs is a bit drastic with one baby and when the wife is going to be home.

conorh 13y ago

Will she be able to get any help (a babysitter even for a few hours every few days to start with), or do you have family close by that can help that way? In my experience those sorts of breaks are very important to keeping your sanity. There would be emergencies, although not often, and yes I would always answer them if I had to. Getting on a call is sometimes not possible when you have the kid so I used chat/IM more. My wife was very understanding this, mostly because she was not around much of the time as she was working very long hours! Jonathan the founder was also very understanding (really good guy) and if I really could not be available I would make sure the others knew. I also became very good at multi-tasking - feeding the baby while debugging server issues? No problem! ;) Would I do it this way again? I'm not sure, it was tough, but the company was a very good experience, and I don't think that I missed out on anything with my child, or that I was a terrible parent.

seeksadvice 13y ago
so are you no longer at the company? sounds like you had a fantastic support network.
- conorh 13y ago
  Yes, I'm no longer at the company, this was 3.5 years ago and the company has since sold. I have my own little consulting company now (and a second child :).

avenger123 13y ago

The fact that your wife is staying home with the baby is going to make everything really much easier and doable. There is no need to change roles or slow down per se. Babies just want to sleep, poop and cry for the most part in the first few months. It's around months 8+ that things start getting interesting. Typically, most of the work is going to be done by your wife regardless of how much you want to be involved. Whatever you can do to help your wife then that's what you should do. So do the extra chores around the house, pick up the grocery shopping. Schedule time for her to go have some "me" time doing something (if she needs it - some mothers will want to be with their baby no matter what). Pay for house cleaning or add another shift to it. In your case, sleep is going to be important. Expect to wake up 3-4 times a night for a while. If you snore, save your wife the hassle of you and the baby and sleep in the basement or another room some nights of the week. For your own sanity, you may also want to do this. It might make sense to start bringing work home and do it at night if you want to spend more time at home. You need to be home early evening to provide help and support but it doesn't mean you can't do work after the baby is put to bed. Also, you'll have a bunch of appointments that you'll need to go to during the day. These are spaced out and are check ups. Overall, if you are a workaholic and work at all hours, that's going to have to change because the baby will dictate your schedule to some degree. In terms of spending time with the baby it becomes more relevant when they start to crawl and get into the toddler years. Changing jobs is a bit drastic with one baby and when the wife is going to be home.