I think we're mainly lonely because we learn to value sex as the primary goal in interpersonal relationships, thereby devaluing everything else. There is a line

I think we're mainly lonely because we learn to value sex as the primary goal in interpersonal relationships, thereby devaluing everything else. There is a linear relationship in western culture between the rise of emphasis on sex, which at first seemed "liberating", and the decline in feelings of connectedness with other people. Read some of the older literature which seems "repressed" by today's standards, and you will see that people had a better appreciation for life's other blessings, placed a higher value on friendship, and had more substantial friendships with other people. I don't think it has much at all to do with technology or the "pace of life", or even materialism; it's mainly about sex and where it lives in our value system. We don't want to go back to being repressed, but our current value system needs some adjustment, which will be difficult because it is a form of addiction. Like other addictions, it gradually drains meaning from the rest of life. Ironically the epic glut of pornography could help turn the tide, as people just overdose and realize how empty the whole thing really is. The recent rise of mainstream sadistic fantasies like 30 Shades suggests the end of the line for this kind of thing; what would be next?