My first year or two of university were somewhat similar, with periods of significant loneliness, which I can now, many years later, compare to grief in its int

My first year or two of university were somewhat similar, with periods of significant loneliness, which I can now, many years later, compare to grief in its intensity and debilitating effect (knowing full well that my recollections of those affects is hazy at best). Part of this was the feeling of isolation caused by being in a new place without the "support network" I had in high school. "Putting myself out there" didn't help much (I was involved in several groups, including drama productions, where one literally puts one's self out there). What helped immensely were one or two intimate relationships, in one case a summer romance (yeah, I know how cliché that sounds) between second and third year and in the other a sometimes rocky and difficult two year relationship over my last two years (fourth and fifth). Thinking about these relationships Vs friendships Vs acquaintancies prompts me to speculate that there is a strong positive correlation between the amount of time one spends with another person and one's sense of well being: Acquaintances were little blips of goodness that drained away quickly when the other left (minutes, say?), the feeling of goodness from being with a friend could last hours or even a day or two, but with highs and lows, but living together had me feeling good about myself all the time, even after a bad fight, with amount of time spent with the person directly related to the depth of the relationship: You don't spend as much time with your acquaintances, even if you want to, because they have other acquaintances and friends and lovers, and they want to spend time with them; you spend more time with friends, because you are their friend too; and you spend so much more time with lovers because that is the choice you have both made. In 20/20 hindsight, I am quite glad we didn't have the Internet (it would one year after leaving U that I learned to spell TCP/IP and another year before I got my first email address) and that phones calls were so expensive: If I had had "anchors" elsewhere that I could easily reach and hold on to, I don't know that I would have stayed where I was. As it was, I had to "bear down" and "barrel through" until better times came by. Sure, a different path could have led to just as good a life, but I'd hate to travel back and take that chance: Things are good, very good.