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Hi, I'm Adam, 27, married with a two year old and one more on the way. I commend your efforts and wish you luck. Some small percentage of people who start out d
by asolove 13y ago
Hi, I'm Adam, 27, married with a two year old and one more on the way. I commend your efforts and wish you luck. Some small percentage of people who start out down the path you're on make it to the end as true technical experts.
All I will do is put in a word that most people who start down that track don't finish, but they still get a chance to change the world. Their chance comes through the coworkers they mentor, the spouses whose less-profitable careers their high-paying programming jobs support, and the children who they raise with, hopefully, some psychological balance.
Remember that this path is just as hard, requires as much thinking and practice, and is mastered by just as few people. For now, if you don't think that's what you're called to, great. But there's nothing to be embarrassed about if you find out later that it is.
And if you get to that realization, approach the rest of life with the same zeal you poured into becoming a technical expert, plus perhaps a bit of new-found humility. Practice constantly, seek help from books and from people who have thought about the problem extensively (religious leaders, therapists, or trusted friends), and remember that you're in training as an excellent person to be.
(Edit: I guess I should also say, I'm not sure the options are exclusive. I've read the books you mention, I've spoken at JSConf, and I've built some really incredible things, all while never regularly working more than a normal workweek.)
- alexeisadeski3 13y agoSo most people don't make it. Do you really think that you're telling him something he doesn't already know? Some people are served well by humility, others aren't. Just because humility and practicality works for you (and me, I might add) doesn't mean that it's the approach for everyone.
- asolove 13y agoI just want people to see that there are many paths to a fulfilling, excellent life. In this community, we have so many models of two of those paths--making FU money, or achieving technical mastery--and so few public models of other options, like the patient parent, the spouse to an emotionally-troubled partner, the upstanding community member, etc. I understand that some people people who attempt one of these goals will fail through lack of effort, intelligence, or luck. But I want to help people not devote their lives to one of these goals just because they don't see the other options or know themselves well enough to see that they're working hard in the wrong direction. I don't judge or disagree with anyone's informed choice, but you can't be informed if you only see two models of success and not other roads to a happy life. I just thought I'd post a public reminder, and hope a few people find it useful. (Edited: pretty sure it was clear what I meant, alexeisadeski3, but made it even clearer.)
- hox 13y agoWe need far more discussion of this type in this forum, especially because the "FU money" and "technical master" roles are rare and difficult to achieve. These can be ideal scenarios for people, but we need to discuss that not achieving this feats does not equal failure.
- alexeisadeski3 13y ago>I do mind people who devote their lives to one of these goals because they don't see the other options or know themselves well enough to see that they're working hard in the wrong direction. Seems a bit presumptuous to judge how others choose to live their lives...
- sliverstorm 13y agoHe's not judging, he's lamenting. Lamenting what he sees to be choices made as a result of a lack of information, which is something we do all the time when it comes to technological decisions. It's not a critique of the choice, but a critique of the context in which it was made. I pity these poor fools, who thought Exchange was their only option...