4 ms·

My boyfriend is actually someone I met 10+ years ago online through a video game. At the time, I did not like him as he was considered a pretty nasty troll. Now

My boyfriend is actually someone I met 10+ years ago online through a video game. At the time, I did not like him as he was considered a pretty nasty troll. Now that I know him intimately, I am not entirely convinced the teasing/bullying aspect of his personality isn't entirely just his own choice. He doesn't seem very miserable (go me!) but I can't help but think his behavior extends well past him trying to make up for something.

mattgreenrocks 13y ago
We often unknowingly perpetuate our own brokenness as a poor way of dealing with it. It doesn't excuse it, but it's the default response.
- woah 13y ago
  Damn dude that's pretty depressing. Maybe her boyfriend was just PLAYING ONLINE GAMES?? I mean the point of most games is to virtually kill other players, playing some pranks seems pretty mild in comparison
  - mattgreenrocks 13y ago
    There's a spectrum for sure. Past a certain point, when you're constantly bullying one person repeatedly and stalking them, it becomes harassment, even if it's in-game. The real question is, are you generally trolling cause it's hilarious, or are you trying to bully individual people? It's tough to tell.
Estragon 13y ago
If it's not too personal, I'm curious to know what you get out of the relationship.
- Einstalbert 13y ago
  Well we share a ton of interests, have an extremely long common history, his humor isn't too terribly far from my own (I laugh more than he does, but then he'll surprise me and enjoy some extremely low-brow stuff), and most of all we put up with each other's quirks/bullshit without too much hassle.
Crito 13y ago
My experience is somewhat similar. I've met a few people that I have known online as "trolls" for years and they have almost all turned out to be perfectly pleasant and well adjusted people. Now, maybe they are psychopaths who care to hid their sadistic tendencies "in real life" and have fooled me, but I really don't think so. I think that a large portion of the people who troll online are actually just people with different senses of humor or different priorities. In 'meatspace' the differences are noticed for what they are as you get to know and appreciate the other person, but online the differences are assumed to be the result of malicious intent. In my experience there's a good chance that the person who is griefing you in CS:S is the same sort of person who brings a squirt gun to the family gathering or makes a snow-man^Wpenis on his grandmothers lawn. Not sadists, just goofs.

mattgreenrocks 13y ago

We often unknowingly perpetuate our own brokenness as a poor way of dealing with it. It doesn't excuse it, but it's the default response.

woah 13y ago
Damn dude that's pretty depressing. Maybe her boyfriend was just PLAYING ONLINE GAMES?? I mean the point of most games is to virtually kill other players, playing some pranks seems pretty mild in comparison
- mattgreenrocks 13y ago
  There's a spectrum for sure. Past a certain point, when you're constantly bullying one person repeatedly and stalking them, it becomes harassment, even if it's in-game. The real question is, are you generally trolling cause it's hilarious, or are you trying to bully individual people? It's tough to tell.

Estragon 13y ago

If it's not too personal, I'm curious to know what you get out of the relationship.

Einstalbert 13y ago
Well we share a ton of interests, have an extremely long common history, his humor isn't too terribly far from my own (I laugh more than he does, but then he'll surprise me and enjoy some extremely low-brow stuff), and most of all we put up with each other's quirks/bullshit without too much hassle.

Crito 13y ago

My experience is somewhat similar. I've met a few people that I have known online as "trolls" for years and they have almost all turned out to be perfectly pleasant and well adjusted people. Now, maybe they are psychopaths who care to hid their sadistic tendencies "in real life" and have fooled me, but I really don't think so. I think that a large portion of the people who troll online are actually just people with different senses of humor or different priorities. In 'meatspace' the differences are noticed for what they are as you get to know and appreciate the other person, but online the differences are assumed to be the result of malicious intent. In my experience there's a good chance that the person who is griefing you in CS:S is the same sort of person who brings a squirt gun to the family gathering or makes a snow-man^Wpenis on his grandmothers lawn. Not sadists, just goofs.