Invent a body swapping machine. I know plenty dieing to get out. If you must, stake out a table at Starbucks for a month, and read every post on elitetrader.co

Invent a body swapping machine. I know plenty dieing to get out. If you must, stake out a table at Starbucks for a month, and read every post on elitetrader.com, nuclearphynance.com, and seekingalpha.com. That'll at least teach you enough to know what the steps you should take are. I just don't recommend many of them, except, for the right individual, breast implants. In some cases, they can be a great investment.