Two quick thoughts: 1. still fairly wordy on several slides (I know, it's REALLY hard to whittle down more) 2. you only hint at how you might make money: biz mo

Two quick thoughts: 1. still fairly wordy on several slides (I know, it's REALLY hard to whittle down more) 2. you only hint at how you might make money: biz model should be very clear (you do a good job explaining how you'll spend $, but not make $)