6 ms·

I did get that point, I just feel that what she's asking of women is crazy for the net gain. If I had a child who was being bullied at school, I could stop tha

I did get that point, I just feel that what she's asking of women is crazy for the net gain. If I had a child who was being bullied at school, I could stop that by forcing him to stay at home for the rest of his life. But that would be a crazy solution to a problem. Asking women to dress conservatively so that if they get raped, society will be more likely to side with them, is crazy. Sure, it will probably help change perceptions in the long term, but it is just not a reasonable solution. Asking women to change their behaviour to accommodate those who are victim blamers (whether they are concious of what they are doing or not) is not fair.

nemothekid 13y ago
First, I'd hope in America that any rape serious rape trial will look into the facts and the evidence and throwaway any personal bias. From the author's article I got the sense she was talking about workplace sexual harassment. Secondly, I don't think "dressing conservatively" and "being denied one's education" are anywhere near on the same levels on sacrifice. I just can't see how being forced to a particular style of dress in the work place is an unimaginable thing. Consider a different group of people. Imagine you owned a business that hired black men. Now you know these men are all respectable men, however they dressed in oversized tees, baggy jeans and jordans, and because of this they were accused of being thugs. Now any rational person can see that your style of dress most likely has no correlation with your likelihood of committing a crime. Despite this however the NBA requires players to hold a certain dress code. The last thing you want in any situation is for a potential judge or employer to think "wow this guy looks like a thug." Is it racist? Maybe. However, again, humans are superstitious and it may take lifetimes to reverse this behavior and I don't think this was "too big of a change." In a minority position, you generally don't want to look the part. It sucks, it might be racist or sexist, but you don't want to further disadvantage yourself. I'm still sort of shocked that having to change one's style of dress is difficult, "crazy solution" for women, but I am not a woman so there maybe somethings I still don't understand (also, I'm not advocating for all women to wear burqa).
- DanBC 13y ago
  Do you wear a suit and tie to work?
- Mz 13y ago
  From the author's article I got the sense she was talking about workplace sexual harassment. Yes, my rant was in reaction to a discussion of a workplace issue where my suggestion that the woman in question dress a little more conservatively as just one part of her overall approach to handling the situation inspired controversy and was deleted as an inappropriate suggestion as to what a woman could do when dealing with an overly-friendly man on the job. I.e I was suggesting that dressing more conservatively on the job in reaction to a problematic situation which had already arisen (not as some sweeping policy "just in case") was a means to politely signal "I am not inviting your advances" without making a big stink out of it. I think if you continue to be eye-candy while having a fit about a man being very friendly to you, your behavior is part of the problem. It isn't helpful to say "I should be able to show up at work damn well naked and men should RESPECT ME ANYWAY" -- an argument I have seen (some variation of) before. I think that is completely unrealistic.
- jack-r-abbit 13y ago
  It doesn't even have to involve race or gender. Think about how many nice, hard working people feel the need to cover up their tattoos at work because some people seem to think that an "arm sleeve" is some how going to effect their ability to do their job. I decided early on that I would always make sure I could cover my tattoos and piercings with a normal, collared shirt for that very reason.

nemothekid 13y ago

First, I'd hope in America that any rape serious rape trial will look into the facts and the evidence and throwaway any personal bias. From the author's article I got the sense she was talking about workplace sexual harassment. Secondly, I don't think "dressing conservatively" and "being denied one's education" are anywhere near on the same levels on sacrifice. I just can't see how being forced to a particular style of dress in the work place is an unimaginable thing. Consider a different group of people. Imagine you owned a business that hired black men. Now you know these men are all respectable men, however they dressed in oversized tees, baggy jeans and jordans, and because of this they were accused of being thugs. Now any rational person can see that your style of dress most likely has no correlation with your likelihood of committing a crime. Despite this however the NBA requires players to hold a certain dress code. The last thing you want in any situation is for a potential judge or employer to think "wow this guy looks like a thug." Is it racist? Maybe. However, again, humans are superstitious and it may take lifetimes to reverse this behavior and I don't think this was "too big of a change." In a minority position, you generally don't want to look the part. It sucks, it might be racist or sexist, but you don't want to further disadvantage yourself. I'm still sort of shocked that having to change one's style of dress is difficult, "crazy solution" for women, but I am not a woman so there maybe somethings I still don't understand (also, I'm not advocating for all women to wear burqa).

DanBC 13y ago
Do you wear a suit and tie to work?
Mz 13y ago
From the author's article I got the sense she was talking about workplace sexual harassment. Yes, my rant was in reaction to a discussion of a workplace issue where my suggestion that the woman in question dress a little more conservatively as just one part of her overall approach to handling the situation inspired controversy and was deleted as an inappropriate suggestion as to what a woman could do when dealing with an overly-friendly man on the job. I.e I was suggesting that dressing more conservatively on the job in reaction to a problematic situation which had already arisen (not as some sweeping policy "just in case") was a means to politely signal "I am not inviting your advances" without making a big stink out of it. I think if you continue to be eye-candy while having a fit about a man being very friendly to you, your behavior is part of the problem. It isn't helpful to say "I should be able to show up at work damn well naked and men should RESPECT ME ANYWAY" -- an argument I have seen (some variation of) before. I think that is completely unrealistic.
jack-r-abbit 13y ago
It doesn't even have to involve race or gender. Think about how many nice, hard working people feel the need to cover up their tattoos at work because some people seem to think that an "arm sleeve" is some how going to effect their ability to do their job. I decided early on that I would always make sure I could cover my tattoos and piercings with a normal, collared shirt for that very reason.