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> I honestly don't think being offended is worse than putting someone's livelihood in jeopardy. Sorry to be a little bit rude here, but this is such bunch of c

> I honestly don't think being offended is worse than putting someone's livelihood in jeopardy. Sorry to be a little bit rude here, but this is such bunch of crap. The person reporting this is not "putting someone's livelihood in jeopardy," the person who did something report-worthy is. There are two situations: 1. The offender really did say things offensive enough that, if reported, HR might fire him. In this case, it's his own damn fault if he gets fired, not the fault of the person who reports him. 2. Maybe after looking at the context, HR decides that the guy wasn't offensive enough to fire. Maybe he's warned, or it's otherwise worked out amicably and everyone's happy. Again, whatever happens is not the reporter's fault. It's not the reporter's responsibility to hide things from HR. If the offender has a wife and kids and who knows what else, maybe they should not do things that might get them fired.

runawaybottle 13y ago
Look, the guy overheard a rant at lunch. Is that the same as consistent and deliberate gay bashing? What most likely happened here? The ranter probably got too loud talking amongst a group of people who are comfortable with nature of the topic. It's a persons job vs someone being offended (most likely indirectly). Be reasonable, and consider proportional reciprocity. Pull the guy aside at least, this is just another person, not a tiger, not a snake, just a human.
- reeses 13y ago
  As a person who ended up in a kerfluffle over some things said to coworker friends, offsite, at a casual non-work event, I understand whereof you speak. However, the instant it's on site, talking to HR about it is the right thing to do. They will give advice about the situation as well as document that you raised the issue. It's largely a CYA move in that you're assertively defending yourself against claims listing you among the group of people engaged in dumbass behavior. You can also anonymize the source of the humor. HR doesn't care about you, the joker, or even gay people. HR cares about protecting the company. They'll send an email proscribing such tomfoolery and consider the issue resolved.
- humbledrone 13y ago
  I wasn't there, I don't know the context, I can't judge how offensive this person was. I don't really see why you think it's somehow more likely that it's just "gay bashing in good fun," but that's really immaterial to the situation, since neither of us was there. What I do know is that it is absolutely reasonable for an offended listener to talk to HR honestly about the situation. Not everyone is comfortable being directly confrontational about that kind of thing, and people in HR are paid to address exactly that kind of situation. > Pull the guy aside at least, this is just another person, not a tiger, not a snake, just a human. Tigers and snakes generally don't make racist/sexist/gayist remarks. Anyway, humans are far more dangerous...
  - runawaybottle 13y ago
    >Tigers and snakes generally don't make racist/sexist/gayist remarks. Anyway, humans are far more dangerous... No, they bite your face off instead. It'd almost be better if the snake said something racist and moved along lol. You know what humans do? They make mistakes, and are often reasonable and have the possibility of changing. Pull the guy aside, he's not a snake.
    - edavis 13y ago
      > You know what humans do? They make mistakes, and are often reasonable and have the possibility of changing. When I was 5 or 6 I put my hand on a coffee pot warmer because I thought it was a scale. That was a mistake. Going on a five minute rant against gay people that made (at least) one person very uncomfortable? That's not a mistake. That's creating a hostile work environment. This is why HR departments exist. Let them evaluate what happened and determine if any guidelines set by the company were broken.
      - ACow_Adonis 13y ago
        That's why HR departments exist? Jeeze. And here I was thinking it was to create a line of obfuscatory defence between employees and management :P /in all seriousness though, approaching HR with a complaint against a workmate is just as likely to get YOU in trouble and make work for you as it is to actually work in your favour. If you're going to approach HR, please please please do it with a bit of knowledge about how it works in your company, and not just because you believed the spiel they delivered during orientation about being there to serve you. (hint: Unless you're their boss, you are not the one that HR serves).

runawaybottle 13y ago

Look, the guy overheard a rant at lunch. Is that the same as consistent and deliberate gay bashing? What most likely happened here? The ranter probably got too loud talking amongst a group of people who are comfortable with nature of the topic. It's a persons job vs someone being offended (most likely indirectly). Be reasonable, and consider proportional reciprocity. Pull the guy aside at least, this is just another person, not a tiger, not a snake, just a human.

reeses 13y ago
As a person who ended up in a kerfluffle over some things said to coworker friends, offsite, at a casual non-work event, I understand whereof you speak. However, the instant it's on site, talking to HR about it is the right thing to do. They will give advice about the situation as well as document that you raised the issue. It's largely a CYA move in that you're assertively defending yourself against claims listing you among the group of people engaged in dumbass behavior. You can also anonymize the source of the humor. HR doesn't care about you, the joker, or even gay people. HR cares about protecting the company. They'll send an email proscribing such tomfoolery and consider the issue resolved.
humbledrone 13y ago
I wasn't there, I don't know the context, I can't judge how offensive this person was. I don't really see why you think it's somehow more likely that it's just "gay bashing in good fun," but that's really immaterial to the situation, since neither of us was there. What I do know is that it is absolutely reasonable for an offended listener to talk to HR honestly about the situation. Not everyone is comfortable being directly confrontational about that kind of thing, and people in HR are paid to address exactly that kind of situation. > Pull the guy aside at least, this is just another person, not a tiger, not a snake, just a human. Tigers and snakes generally don't make racist/sexist/gayist remarks. Anyway, humans are far more dangerous...
- runawaybottle 13y ago
  >Tigers and snakes generally don't make racist/sexist/gayist remarks. Anyway, humans are far more dangerous... No, they bite your face off instead. It'd almost be better if the snake said something racist and moved along lol. You know what humans do? They make mistakes, and are often reasonable and have the possibility of changing. Pull the guy aside, he's not a snake.
  - edavis 13y ago
    > You know what humans do? They make mistakes, and are often reasonable and have the possibility of changing. When I was 5 or 6 I put my hand on a coffee pot warmer because I thought it was a scale. That was a mistake. Going on a five minute rant against gay people that made (at least) one person very uncomfortable? That's not a mistake. That's creating a hostile work environment. This is why HR departments exist. Let them evaluate what happened and determine if any guidelines set by the company were broken.
    - ACow_Adonis 13y ago
      That's why HR departments exist? Jeeze. And here I was thinking it was to create a line of obfuscatory defence between employees and management :P /in all seriousness though, approaching HR with a complaint against a workmate is just as likely to get YOU in trouble and make work for you as it is to actually work in your favour. If you're going to approach HR, please please please do it with a bit of knowledge about how it works in your company, and not just because you believed the spiel they delivered during orientation about being there to serve you. (hint: Unless you're their boss, you are not the one that HR serves).