You can't imagine a scenario where your spouse may find something irritating, but for whatever reason choose to not mention it. Then, after years of daily annoy

You can't imagine a scenario where your spouse may find something irritating, but for whatever reason choose to not mention it. Then, after years of daily annoyance, one day decides that it's too much and presents you with an "I thought it would get better, but...."? Making a blanket statement that one should know how someone else feels is ignoring that the other person may be actively trying to suppress/hide it.