5 ms·

So, basically, live a really boring 30-40 years, so you can enjoy 20-30 years in declining health. I'll get right on that.

by groby_b 13y ago

mromanuk 13y ago
hahaha, genius...
dmm 13y ago
His first tip, only get married once and stay married, is a pretty good one.
- nwenzel 13y ago
  Depends how you read it. Don't get divorced because divorce is expensive... not such good advice. Choose the right partner and don't settle so that you don't get divorced... good advice.
  - jellicle 13y ago
    Another way to say this is that staying married to the wrong person is extremely expensive in its own way.
- runjake 13y ago
  Her. The author is a her. Here's her Twitter page: https://twitter.com/JoyceWayne1951 https://twitter.com/JoyceWayne1951
- toomuchtodo 13y ago
  Because knowing that the other person is going to snap/leave one day is completely determinable. Forgive me for my disbelief.
  - aceperry 13y ago
    LOL, really. She should've known when she was younger, that she shouldn't have gotten married to the guy that she would eventually divorce. Very good hindsight/20:20 advice though.
  - fixedd 13y ago
    You can't imagine a scenario where your spouse may find something irritating, but for whatever reason choose to not mention it. Then, after years of daily annoyance, one day decides that it's too much and presents you with an "I thought it would get better, but...."? Making a blanket statement that one should know how someone else feels is ignoring that the other person may be actively trying to suppress/hide it.
    - toomuchtodo 13y ago
      I was being sarcastic. People change constantly. You can no more predict your future with someone than you can anything else.
- greenyoda 13y ago
  Staying married is not entirely under your control, since your spouse can file for divorce even if you think your marriage is doing well. Unfortunately, the only way of being certain that you'll never get divorced is to never get married. "Choosing the right partner" is good, but people change and grow apart and grow bored and meet other people who they might like better than their spouses. The "right partner" when you're in your twenties may not be the right partner twenty or thirty years later.
  - a8da6b0c91d 13y ago
    The author is a woman and statistically one could argue control over divorce in the modern west is with the woman. Among the college educated 90% of divorces are filed by women. More generally it's 70%, but some argue that when the husband files he's very often not doing it of his own accord. There are large numbers of divorced boomer women going into old age alone and poor figuring out they made a huge mistake. So for a female audience this is probably important advice.
    - aestra 13y ago
      Please cite your stats, come on HN, you are better than that.
    - greenyoda 13y ago
      Lots of middle aged men dump their wives for younger women.
      - fixedd 13y ago
        I know this is a trope, but Citation Needed.
- WalterSear 13y ago
  That's like saying 'don't crash' is good driving advice.
debt 13y ago
I use to think like you. Problem is there really is quite large economic disparity between the elderly and the young. If you don't save for retirement you will be broke or damn near it when you reach retirement age. Also, I think you can have it all. It's relatively easy to pursue your interests and passions while saving for retirement. I believe his last point highlights the exact reason, outside of pure passion, you should always be pursuing the things that interest you. One can live an exciting life as long as one has enough money for retirement, has interests outside of their immediate friends and significant others, and stays committed to their significant other. I believe his suggestion to take a government job was just encouraging one to find a way to get paid past retirement age.
- aestra 13y ago
  >Also, I think you can have it all. It's relatively easy to pursue your interests and passions while saving for retirement. Not if you're making minimum wage. I know I am being a jerk but far too many people don't realize there is a sphere of existence outside their own.
  - debt 13y ago
    Very true and this likely accounts for the economic disparity I'm talking about.
drdeadringer 13y ago
You really won't miss that % you put into a 401k in real time... unless you aren't doing it, and your future self shall be missing it dearly.
prawn 13y ago
This was one person's advice to their younger self. I guess we can all take away something from it, picking and choosing what sounds reasonable to us. I walked away from that article not thinking "boring life" at all but inspired to think more about what I was doing and trying to stick to a plan to take me where I want to go. I don't have or plan to have a government job and I got lucky that separating from a previous marriage and splitting the house actually worked very well for me financially. I plan to sell and move to a nicer house when the market suits, and I plan not to put aside money for my son's education but to get him involved in tech and entrepreneurship early so he has broad and flexible options, or can freelance as a teenager to start investing. But despite all that, the ideal of a persistent career with social capital is smart. And the note about affordable interests having real benefits resonated with me too.

So, basically, live a really boring 30-40 years, so you can enjoy 20-30 years in declining health. I'll get right on that.

by groby_b 13y ago

So, basically, live a really boring 30-40 years, so you can enjoy 20-30 years in declining health. I'll get right on that.

mromanuk 13y ago

hahaha, genius...

dmm 13y ago

His first tip, only get married once and stay married, is a pretty good one.

nwenzel 13y ago
Depends how you read it. Don't get divorced because divorce is expensive... not such good advice. Choose the right partner and don't settle so that you don't get divorced... good advice.
- jellicle 13y ago
  Another way to say this is that staying married to the wrong person is extremely expensive in its own way.
runjake 13y ago
Her. The author is a her. Here's her Twitter page: https://twitter.com/JoyceWayne1951 https://twitter.com/JoyceWayne1951
toomuchtodo 13y ago
Because knowing that the other person is going to snap/leave one day is completely determinable. Forgive me for my disbelief.
- aceperry 13y ago
  LOL, really. She should've known when she was younger, that she shouldn't have gotten married to the guy that she would eventually divorce. Very good hindsight/20:20 advice though.
- fixedd 13y ago
  You can't imagine a scenario where your spouse may find something irritating, but for whatever reason choose to not mention it. Then, after years of daily annoyance, one day decides that it's too much and presents you with an "I thought it would get better, but...."? Making a blanket statement that one should know how someone else feels is ignoring that the other person may be actively trying to suppress/hide it.
  - toomuchtodo 13y ago
    I was being sarcastic. People change constantly. You can no more predict your future with someone than you can anything else.
greenyoda 13y ago
Staying married is not entirely under your control, since your spouse can file for divorce even if you think your marriage is doing well. Unfortunately, the only way of being certain that you'll never get divorced is to never get married. "Choosing the right partner" is good, but people change and grow apart and grow bored and meet other people who they might like better than their spouses. The "right partner" when you're in your twenties may not be the right partner twenty or thirty years later.
- a8da6b0c91d 13y ago
  The author is a woman and statistically one could argue control over divorce in the modern west is with the woman. Among the college educated 90% of divorces are filed by women. More generally it's 70%, but some argue that when the husband files he's very often not doing it of his own accord. There are large numbers of divorced boomer women going into old age alone and poor figuring out they made a huge mistake. So for a female audience this is probably important advice.
  - aestra 13y ago
    Please cite your stats, come on HN, you are better than that.
  - greenyoda 13y ago
    Lots of middle aged men dump their wives for younger women.
    - fixedd 13y ago
      I know this is a trope, but Citation Needed.
WalterSear 13y ago
That's like saying 'don't crash' is good driving advice.

debt 13y ago

I use to think like you. Problem is there really is quite large economic disparity between the elderly and the young. If you don't save for retirement you will be broke or damn near it when you reach retirement age. Also, I think you can have it all. It's relatively easy to pursue your interests and passions while saving for retirement. I believe his last point highlights the exact reason, outside of pure passion, you should always be pursuing the things that interest you. One can live an exciting life as long as one has enough money for retirement, has interests outside of their immediate friends and significant others, and stays committed to their significant other. I believe his suggestion to take a government job was just encouraging one to find a way to get paid past retirement age.

aestra 13y ago
>Also, I think you can have it all. It's relatively easy to pursue your interests and passions while saving for retirement. Not if you're making minimum wage. I know I am being a jerk but far too many people don't realize there is a sphere of existence outside their own.
- debt 13y ago
  Very true and this likely accounts for the economic disparity I'm talking about.

drdeadringer 13y ago

You really won't miss that % you put into a 401k in real time... unless you aren't doing it, and your future self shall be missing it dearly.

prawn 13y ago

This was one person's advice to their younger self. I guess we can all take away something from it, picking and choosing what sounds reasonable to us. I walked away from that article not thinking "boring life" at all but inspired to think more about what I was doing and trying to stick to a plan to take me where I want to go. I don't have or plan to have a government job and I got lucky that separating from a previous marriage and splitting the house actually worked very well for me financially. I plan to sell and move to a nicer house when the market suits, and I plan not to put aside money for my son's education but to get him involved in tech and entrepreneurship early so he has broad and flexible options, or can freelance as a teenager to start investing. But despite all that, the ideal of a persistent career with social capital is smart. And the note about affordable interests having real benefits resonated with me too.