The dogma is actually quite fantastic. As it was once summarized for me, I'll give my best tl;dr for those who might not want to read the Wikipedia article, as

The dogma is actually quite fantastic. As it was once summarized for me, I'll give my best tl;dr for those who might not want to read the Wikipedia article, as off-topic as it might actually be. Heaven is a stripper factory and a beer volcano. This is well known. Gravity is not real. What keeps us here on Planet Earth is the great almighty press of His Noodly Appendages. The FSM actually loves us all, but he loves us who are diminutive in stature the most, and that's why he presses them harder, to keep them closer to the ground. The first person created by the FSM was in fact a midget. The Wikipedia article touches on the correlation between pirates and global warming, but does not appear to mention this Scientific™ explanation of Gravity. There's also no mention of Last Thursdayism, an orthodox division of the Church of FSM, which preaches that the world was created last Thursday, as evidenced most obviously by the fact that when I ask, you can't remember what you did last Wednesday. I am not making this up. There is a lot of information missing from the Wikipedia page.