It's really neither The military makes no secret about "breaking down their recruits" and then "rebuilding them as soldiers" (to use their language). What tha

It's really neither The military makes no secret about "breaking down their recruits" and then "rebuilding them as soldiers" (to use their language). What that entails is using whatever means necessary to form a habit of discipline. Because when you're disclpined you do the simple things on auto pilot. Things like pay bills and clean your living space. If people in the military seem more emotionally controlled it's because they can marshal all their mental resources to deal with whatever emotional challenge comes their way. They don't have the added distractions of "did I pay the electric bill this month?" or "I have to do that thing at work that I've been procrastinating on" In other words, they have the same capacity as everyone else but they are trained to live a life that eliminates as many distractions as possible. Finally, for those who have already commented about military vets bottling stuff up and exploding I'd offer this insight. All the military's methods can do for a person is elminiate distractions so big problems can be dealt with. If a person still decides to ignore those problems the results will be disasterous just like they would be in any other person.