4 ms·

Until your significant other gets injured and you try to show up at the hospital to make the decisions any married couple is allowed to make. That is _one_ of

Until your significant other gets injured and you try to show up at the hospital to make the decisions any married couple is allowed to make. That is _one_ of the issues you will face as an unmarried "partnership." This is also the reason why those uppity gays are not content with the crumbs of "social unions." Non-married couples do not have the same rights as married couples. of course this is US-centric

Retric 13y ago
If you think ahead, you can give someone those rights without marring them. The only real exclusive benefit is sharing healthcare and retirement benefits which is far less significant in a two income household.
- judk 13y ago
  In the USA, there are laws in the way. You can't sign a contract with a hospital giving you the right to visit your partner. Not in practice.
- auctiontheory 13y ago
  Off the top of my head, I could probably come up with a thousand potential problems with living together unmarried (in the US). Here's a big one: if you work for any church-based organization (and they are huge employers, e.g. operating large schools, hospitals and universities), they might fire you because they suddenly decide you are violating some arcane religious doctrine. Now you might say "I didn't want to work there anyway," but that's not how life works for most people who are not well-paid twenty-something software engineers.
ronaldx 13y ago
> Until your significant other gets injured and you try to show up at the hospital to make the decisions any married couple is allowed to make. Sure, it depends on the law in your local area. As non-married couples gain rights, it removes reasons for people to get married. Whatever additional rights you get for being married are your primary motivator: that's what I was trying to say. Here, it seems primarily to be EU work visas.
innguest 13y ago
Why can't non-married couples give each other power-of-attorney for those things? I ask this not rhetorically.
- fosap 13y ago
  I'm not from the us, but i do have these powers form my sister and my parents (and they do for me). We can for each other decide what medical procedures should and shouldn't be done. In a extreme case that hopefully does not happen soon we may even decide life sustaining measures to be stopped. Where I'm from one can simply give such powers to another person.
- GFK_of_xmaspast 13y ago
  The trick is getting hospitals to not ignore PoA: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/12/roger-gorley-arrested-gay-sick-partner-hospital_n_3069481.html http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/12/roger-gorley-arrest...
- stevenbedrick 13y ago
  I imagine that it depends on the state (or country, if we're not being US-centric), but many non-married couples can and do set up durable powers of attorney (PoA), advance medical directives, wills, and so on. As a sibling commenter noted, the trick is then getting the hospital, partner's family, etc. to recognize the PoA document; while the law surrounding powers of attorney is generally quite clear, there are certainly plenty of horror stories of hospitals, families, etc. ignoring such documents. I imagine that the likelihood of this happening varies from state to state, hospital to hospital, possibly even doctor to doctor, and so on. That said, in the US, basically all of the time, you'll be _far_ better off for having drawn up a durable power of attorney than you would be if you hadn't. Definitely money well-spent if you're in an unmarried partnership. I suggest finding a lawyer who specializes in LGBTQ family law; they generally will be happy to take any couple on as clients, regardless of whether they are same/opposite sex, cis/trans, etc., and they have literally "seen it all," which means that they know about all kinds of legal edge cases that can cause trouble for people in a non-married partnership. As an aside, I'm continually amazed by how many _married_ couples don't have wills, PoA documents, advance directives, etc. etc. filled out. Even if it's not strictly necessary from a legal perspective, having one's wishes and instructions written down explicitly is a relatively small-seeming thing that can make a very bad situation noticeably less awful (or so I've heard from people who've been there).
hrktb 13y ago
Add to this that marriage is recognized internationally. Alternative contracts will have to be translated and made legit for any other country a couple goes to.

Retric 13y ago

If you think ahead, you can give someone those rights without marring them. The only real exclusive benefit is sharing healthcare and retirement benefits which is far less significant in a two income household.

judk 13y ago
In the USA, there are laws in the way. You can't sign a contract with a hospital giving you the right to visit your partner. Not in practice.
auctiontheory 13y ago
Off the top of my head, I could probably come up with a thousand potential problems with living together unmarried (in the US). Here's a big one: if you work for any church-based organization (and they are huge employers, e.g. operating large schools, hospitals and universities), they might fire you because they suddenly decide you are violating some arcane religious doctrine. Now you might say "I didn't want to work there anyway," but that's not how life works for most people who are not well-paid twenty-something software engineers.

ronaldx 13y ago

> Until your significant other gets injured and you try to show up at the hospital to make the decisions any married couple is allowed to make. Sure, it depends on the law in your local area. As non-married couples gain rights, it removes reasons for people to get married. Whatever additional rights you get for being married are your primary motivator: that's what I was trying to say. Here, it seems primarily to be EU work visas.

innguest 13y ago

Why can't non-married couples give each other power-of-attorney for those things? I ask this not rhetorically.

fosap 13y ago
I'm not from the us, but i do have these powers form my sister and my parents (and they do for me). We can for each other decide what medical procedures should and shouldn't be done. In a extreme case that hopefully does not happen soon we may even decide life sustaining measures to be stopped. Where I'm from one can simply give such powers to another person.
GFK_of_xmaspast 13y ago
The trick is getting hospitals to not ignore PoA: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/12/roger-gorley-arrested-gay-sick-partner-hospital_n_3069481.html http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/12/roger-gorley-arrest...
stevenbedrick 13y ago
I imagine that it depends on the state (or country, if we're not being US-centric), but many non-married couples can and do set up durable powers of attorney (PoA), advance medical directives, wills, and so on. As a sibling commenter noted, the trick is then getting the hospital, partner's family, etc. to recognize the PoA document; while the law surrounding powers of attorney is generally quite clear, there are certainly plenty of horror stories of hospitals, families, etc. ignoring such documents. I imagine that the likelihood of this happening varies from state to state, hospital to hospital, possibly even doctor to doctor, and so on. That said, in the US, basically all of the time, you'll be _far_ better off for having drawn up a durable power of attorney than you would be if you hadn't. Definitely money well-spent if you're in an unmarried partnership. I suggest finding a lawyer who specializes in LGBTQ family law; they generally will be happy to take any couple on as clients, regardless of whether they are same/opposite sex, cis/trans, etc., and they have literally "seen it all," which means that they know about all kinds of legal edge cases that can cause trouble for people in a non-married partnership. As an aside, I'm continually amazed by how many _married_ couples don't have wills, PoA documents, advance directives, etc. etc. filled out. Even if it's not strictly necessary from a legal perspective, having one's wishes and instructions written down explicitly is a relatively small-seeming thing that can make a very bad situation noticeably less awful (or so I've heard from people who've been there).

hrktb 13y ago

Add to this that marriage is recognized internationally. Alternative contracts will have to be translated and made legit for any other country a couple goes to.