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To the younger folks out there: if you see something like this occur as a third party (you're neither the groper nor the gropee, neither the misogynist nor the
by jellicle 13y ago
To the younger folks out there: if you see something like this occur as a third party (you're neither the groper nor the gropee, neither the misogynist nor the victim), you need to not politely ignore it but to step in and correct the asshole, as firmly as necessary.
Whether it's groping or just verbal putdowns of some sort, you should step forward and add yourself to the situation, making it clear that the behavior you witnessed is not acceptable to you.
Otherwise, you're part of the problem too.
- AnimalMuppet 13y agoEspecially if she makes it clear that it's making her uncomfortable.
- UnoriginalGuy 13y agoAre you suggesting that "younger folks" just start trying to intervene in every public display of affection they see at a meetup? If I hug my wife the last thing I need is some white knight running up and calling me names because they have some imagining of what is going on. Honestly that advice on the face of it is terrible. We should discourage this behaviour but it should be through having rules for meetups, a complaints/reporting facility, and banning the offenders (or giving them warnings in less egregious examples). Recommending people get into a confrontation if they get a bad vibe is just bad advice that will result in bad situations (see dongle-gate, et al).
- GrahamsNumber 13y agoUmm... no.
- pstack 13y agoWell, the author was apparently there with her when this occurred. Doesn't sound like he spoke up about it. Frankly, that seems weird to me. If this happened to a friend I was out with, I would be expected to say something. Unless he was oblivious to this occurring, I don't understand how someone would just let a stranger grab their friend without stepping in. As to stepping in and "adding yourself to the situation" with a stranger? I don't know about that, so much. I've had my fair share of trying to be the considerate stranger stepping in to help out, only to be screeched at by the person I was speaking up for. It often doesn't pay to try and help people out. (Not saying you shouldn't do it, anyway, just on principle).