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>You should try talking to people who were abused by their parents, or rape survivors. Don't compare bullying to rape. They are not in the same class. That's n

>You should try talking to people who were abused by their parents, or rape survivors. Don't compare bullying to rape. They are not in the same class. That's not to say that bullying isn't bad, just that rape is on a different level entirely. >It's telling that not a single one of these invitations contained an apology. Is it? True apologies are usually given in person. >Victims of abuse are usually more affected by it than perpetrators. Ergo, the victim is best advised to take steps to cure themselves, regardless of what happens to the perpetrators. He's the angry one, not me. I'm only pointing out that it is better for him if he isn't angry. I care little about the feelings of his bullies, to be honest.

philwelch 17y ago
"Don't compare bullying to rape. They are not in the same class. That's not to say that bullying isn't bad, just that rape is on a different level entirely." I'm saying that different types of trauma provide similar reactions. I don't find it productive to compare different types of abuse and decide which is worst. "Ergo, the victim is best advised to take steps to cure themselves, regardless of what happens to the perpetrators." Avoiding the perpetrators of abuse is normally part of healing, though, which is all this guy's trying to do.
JabavuAdams 17y ago
There's a huge variance to both classes of crime, and there's overlap. The central issue in torture is the complete and utter lack of control by the victim. That's what's truly violating. Knowing (or believing sufficiently strongly) that there's nothing you can do to stop this outrage. This can occur in many contexts, of which sexual assault is only one. I would classify someone breaking another person's fingers methodically while telling the victim that he wants to "hear the sound" as torture. There's a level of malice and pre-meditation that's not present in a quick breaking. I sometimes think that part of what makes rape worse for the victim is all of our societal hang-ups and power-mongering about sex. In part they're a throw-back to the macho idea of protecting women's purity, and that women who have been "taken" are somehow impure. Talk about screwing the victim twice. Yes, rape is very bad. But, society makes it worse by telling women that it's the worst thing that can happen to them (rather, than other torture or death, say).

philwelch 17y ago

"Don't compare bullying to rape. They are not in the same class. That's not to say that bullying isn't bad, just that rape is on a different level entirely." I'm saying that different types of trauma provide similar reactions. I don't find it productive to compare different types of abuse and decide which is worst. "Ergo, the victim is best advised to take steps to cure themselves, regardless of what happens to the perpetrators." Avoiding the perpetrators of abuse is normally part of healing, though, which is all this guy's trying to do.

JabavuAdams 17y ago

There's a huge variance to both classes of crime, and there's overlap. The central issue in torture is the complete and utter lack of control by the victim. That's what's truly violating. Knowing (or believing sufficiently strongly) that there's nothing you can do to stop this outrage. This can occur in many contexts, of which sexual assault is only one. I would classify someone breaking another person's fingers methodically while telling the victim that he wants to "hear the sound" as torture. There's a level of malice and pre-meditation that's not present in a quick breaking. I sometimes think that part of what makes rape worse for the victim is all of our societal hang-ups and power-mongering about sex. In part they're a throw-back to the macho idea of protecting women's purity, and that women who have been "taken" are somehow impure. Talk about screwing the victim twice. Yes, rape is very bad. But, society makes it worse by telling women that it's the worst thing that can happen to them (rather, than other torture or death, say).