4 ms·

"And then met a girl the very next day (not kidding) that I really hit it off with when I wasn't looking" This, IMHO, is the best advice. I remember the Dalai

by alan_cx 13y ago

"And then met a girl the very next day (not kidding) that I really hit it off with when I wasn't looking" This, IMHO, is the best advice. I remember the Dalai Lama's advice about finding happiness. How do I find happiness? "Stop lookin, be happy", he said. Same with dating. How do I find a date? Stop looking. More exactly, live life, and in time, you'll meet someone. Part of the reason why is that someone sort of on the hunt isn't that attractive, because such a person isn't being totally natural, or themselves. The dating game becomes false. That is subtly there to see, and is a turn off. If not then what you get is potentially two false people under pressure to maintain something. Yeah, I know, it can't work for all, circumstances, time, and all that. But so far, regardless of who I have passed this notion on to, regardless of their situation, in time, its worked. And worked solidly. Unfortunately, this is something people do get fretful about, and then decide something has to be done.

khafra 13y ago
> "Stop lookin, be happy" It's true that happiness comes when you're settled with your lot in life. But you will instinctively rebel if you settle too early, on too little; this site is sort of dedicated to the art of not settling too early.
- alandarev 13y ago
  Enjoying your life does not imply getting satisfied with what you have. You can enjoy your journey and be thankful for what you are having at the moment, not only the finish. Translating this to our members of startup: concentrate on your activity, rather than focus on getting your first million.
- uaygsfdbzf 13y ago
  You're confusing being happy with being satisfied. As Bruce Lee put it: Be happy, but never satisfied.
- tripzilch 13y ago
  Alan Watts said: (paraphrased) Life is not a journey pilgrimage with an important goal at the end, it is a musical thing and you are supposed to laugh and sing and dance along the way. For the full text, check out this cool youtube animation made by the Southpark folks from his lecture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4 (animation style is Southpark-like, content is Alan Watts)
NotOscarWilde 13y ago
> Same with dating. How do I find a date? Stop looking. More exactly, live life, and in time, you'll meet someone. That is a rather good philosophy in general, but for an average guy like me, the key to finding a good partner was exposure. By that I mean being active in a larger group of people that includes both men and women in a reasonable ratio, and where people communicate with each other. Most of my time is occupied by my PhD studies in CS and I spend my free time with a good book or a movie. If I "stopped looking" with these hobbies and didn't do anything else, I simply wouldn't meet any single potential partner at all. "Stop looking" may just mean "act like you're not looking", which is generally a good advice -- people are put off by subtle signs of despair in your eyes. But consider increasing your odds by raising your exposure, ideally while doing something non-desperate. Suggestions: Some martial art that appeals to both genders; Mountain climbing; being more active on some gender-balanced discussion group or fan scene.
nawitus 13y ago
>This, IMHO, is the best advice. Sure, it works well in Disney movies.

by alan_cx 13y ago

khafra 13y ago

> "Stop lookin, be happy" It's true that happiness comes when you're settled with your lot in life. But you will instinctively rebel if you settle too early, on too little; this site is sort of dedicated to the art of not settling too early.

alandarev 13y ago
Enjoying your life does not imply getting satisfied with what you have. You can enjoy your journey and be thankful for what you are having at the moment, not only the finish. Translating this to our members of startup: concentrate on your activity, rather than focus on getting your first million.
uaygsfdbzf 13y ago
You're confusing being happy with being satisfied. As Bruce Lee put it: Be happy, but never satisfied.
tripzilch 13y ago
Alan Watts said: (paraphrased) Life is not a journey pilgrimage with an important goal at the end, it is a musical thing and you are supposed to laugh and sing and dance along the way. For the full text, check out this cool youtube animation made by the Southpark folks from his lecture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4 (animation style is Southpark-like, content is Alan Watts)

NotOscarWilde 13y ago

> Same with dating. How do I find a date? Stop looking. More exactly, live life, and in time, you'll meet someone. That is a rather good philosophy in general, but for an average guy like me, the key to finding a good partner was exposure. By that I mean being active in a larger group of people that includes both men and women in a reasonable ratio, and where people communicate with each other. Most of my time is occupied by my PhD studies in CS and I spend my free time with a good book or a movie. If I "stopped looking" with these hobbies and didn't do anything else, I simply wouldn't meet any single potential partner at all. "Stop looking" may just mean "act like you're not looking", which is generally a good advice -- people are put off by subtle signs of despair in your eyes. But consider increasing your odds by raising your exposure, ideally while doing something non-desperate. Suggestions: Some martial art that appeals to both genders; Mountain climbing; being more active on some gender-balanced discussion group or fan scene.

nawitus 13y ago

>This, IMHO, is the best advice. Sure, it works well in Disney movies.