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Plenty of average and unattractive people are in happy relationships. That "rule" is just something that uninteresting people tell themselves to try to avoid ta
by Gracana 13y ago
Plenty of average and unattractive people are in happy relationships. That "rule" is just something that uninteresting people tell themselves to try to avoid taking responsibility for their situation.
- klipt 13y agoSo you'd say the real rule is "be interesting"? The problem is there are plenty of people with passionate, interesting lives, but who aren't good at communicating that interest, or have interests that don't appeal to (most of) the opposite sex. In dating, where first impressions are everything, it's often more important to appear interesting than be interesting.
- nostrademons 13y agoThe real rule is "be interested". Being interesting follows from that, but being interested is the part you can control. I've found that when people have persistent difficulties finding a partner, it's almost always because they aren't actually interested in the women they date, but have some platonic ideal of a woman that they think they ought to date and so are dating the wrong people.
- klipt 13y agoSure (I too have read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People') - but that only works if the other person is already interested in you. One sided interest just comes across as creepy.
- nostrademons 13y agoDepends on the context. One-sided interest that's fixated on one particular characteristic comes across as creepy - it's obvious when it's a physical characteristic, but it's also just as creepy to be particularly interested in someone's career, or house, or car, or any other thing. One-sided interest that's diffuse tends to become two-sided interest, because it makes you seem engaged with the world, and that's a very attractive quality for a lot of people. Basically, be interested in everyone and you'll find that everyone is interested in you, while if you're interested in only one person she probably won't be interested in you.
- klipt 13y agoPretty sure that's the furthest thing from my problem. Women love talking to me. > Basically, be interested in everyone I think the main advantage of this is that it keeps your options open. It is a numbers game, after all.