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Some people get over things by eliminating those things from their lives. He probably spends the vast majority of the days of his life over that whole experien

by tc 17y ago

Some people get over things by eliminating those things from their lives. He probably spends the vast majority of the days of his life over that whole experience. His rant was prompted by elements of that old world trying to intrude on the world he lives in now, which dredged up that negative energy. Also, adolescents turn into adults, but they don't forget what passed before. So if you were evil to someone in high school, the adult thing to do would be to apologize if you're going to contact that person.

biohacker42 17y ago
Also, adolescents turn into adults, but they don't forget what passed before. So if you were evil to someone in high school, the adult thing to do would be to apologize if you're going to contact that person. Agreed. But I don't think that trying to forget something is dealing with it. It may be a way of coping, but it's no resolution.
- tc 17y ago
  Personally, I agree. I myself take a more inner-zen approach to this sort of thing. I've developed a certain empathy though, as during my life I've been intimate with some people for whom the inner-peace approach just doesn't seem attainable. For those people, avoiding the negative stimuli goes a long way to improving their lives.
lutorm 17y ago
That's exactly what happened to me (and a lot sooner than 25 years after high school). On graduation from Gymnasium (would be 12th grade here), my friend and I happened to run into this guy who would pester us in 7-9th grade. Worse for my friend than me, and nothing like broken fingers, but just random physical violence every now and then. We hadn't seen him for a couple of years, so we said hi and started talking and he says "I'm sorry I was such an asshole back then." It increased my respect for the guy immensely. So yeah, you grow up and as part of that you realize you did some shitty things. So if you decide you really want to communicate with the people you were mean to, the first thing you do is straight up apologize. If they don't, I think his incredulousness is justified.

by tc 17y ago

biohacker42 17y ago

Also, adolescents turn into adults, but they don't forget what passed before. So if you were evil to someone in high school, the adult thing to do would be to apologize if you're going to contact that person. Agreed. But I don't think that trying to forget something is dealing with it. It may be a way of coping, but it's no resolution.

tc 17y ago
Personally, I agree. I myself take a more inner-zen approach to this sort of thing. I've developed a certain empathy though, as during my life I've been intimate with some people for whom the inner-peace approach just doesn't seem attainable. For those people, avoiding the negative stimuli goes a long way to improving their lives.

lutorm 17y ago

That's exactly what happened to me (and a lot sooner than 25 years after high school). On graduation from Gymnasium (would be 12th grade here), my friend and I happened to run into this guy who would pester us in 7-9th grade. Worse for my friend than me, and nothing like broken fingers, but just random physical violence every now and then. We hadn't seen him for a couple of years, so we said hi and started talking and he says "I'm sorry I was such an asshole back then." It increased my respect for the guy immensely. So yeah, you grow up and as part of that you realize you did some shitty things. So if you decide you really want to communicate with the people you were mean to, the first thing you do is straight up apologize. If they don't, I think his incredulousness is justified.