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I actually find your post very interesting. It's written in a manner that confirms exactly what you say. On a scale of "empath" to "sociopath", I feel like I

I actually find your post very interesting. It's written in a manner that confirms exactly what you say. On a scale of "empath" to "sociopath", I feel like I am much closer to an empath. And I find that it causes a lot of problems in my life: constantly worrying over what others are thinking, always trying to please everyone, obsessing over the way I construct emails and social exchanges. It's really a drag. Occasionally I feel envy for people with sociopathic tendencies. How nice it would be to only worry about what makes yourself happy. I've come to the conclusion though that for the most part, someone's level of empathy is mostly physiological/genetic and there's little I can do to change that. If I tried on purpose to care less towards others, I'd probably start feeling sick/guilty -- a biological reaction that I wouldn't be able to suppress.

ximpathy 13y ago
I think that being a sociopath and practicing empathy are not mutually exclusive (although I understand that in your case or most cases, empathy probably drives away the sociopathic tendencies). From what I understand, empathy is merely the notion of understanding perspectives other than your own. A sociopath who holds contempt toward a point of view could possibly benefit herself by practicing empathy. Empathy just another means of obtaining information about the world around you. My point is obfuscated by the fact in many contexts the word "empathy" and "empath" are intended to involve not only the person practicing empathy, but also the interaction with the person to be understood. What it boils down to is that you can understand what people are feeling and still decide to disregard them.
- evincarofautumn 13y ago
  You are right. Empathy and sociopathy, though both rather ill defined, do not sit at opposite ends of the same spectrum. As a child, I was highly empathetic, caring, and frequently overwhelmed by others’ emotions. As an adolescent, I did a face-heel turn and became very manipulative, frequently lying, gaslighting, and emotionally abusing others. But now it’s the positive aspects of both; I don’t feel emotions very strongly but am quite empathetic toward others, accommodating their needs with perceptive and manipulative skills honed by an adolescence of (frankly) sociopathy. Being entirely self-serving gets old, actually. There’s not really any challenge in picking pockets or getting laid.
gizzlon 13y ago
You'll probably find 'No more Mr. Nice Guy' interesting if you haven't checked it out yet.. It does not advocating being an asshole, but discusses the "too nice" attitude (which, it turns out, is not nice at all).

ximpathy 13y ago

I think that being a sociopath and practicing empathy are not mutually exclusive (although I understand that in your case or most cases, empathy probably drives away the sociopathic tendencies). From what I understand, empathy is merely the notion of understanding perspectives other than your own. A sociopath who holds contempt toward a point of view could possibly benefit herself by practicing empathy. Empathy just another means of obtaining information about the world around you. My point is obfuscated by the fact in many contexts the word "empathy" and "empath" are intended to involve not only the person practicing empathy, but also the interaction with the person to be understood. What it boils down to is that you can understand what people are feeling and still decide to disregard them.

evincarofautumn 13y ago
You are right. Empathy and sociopathy, though both rather ill defined, do not sit at opposite ends of the same spectrum. As a child, I was highly empathetic, caring, and frequently overwhelmed by others’ emotions. As an adolescent, I did a face-heel turn and became very manipulative, frequently lying, gaslighting, and emotionally abusing others. But now it’s the positive aspects of both; I don’t feel emotions very strongly but am quite empathetic toward others, accommodating their needs with perceptive and manipulative skills honed by an adolescence of (frankly) sociopathy. Being entirely self-serving gets old, actually. There’s not really any challenge in picking pockets or getting laid.

gizzlon 13y ago

You'll probably find 'No more Mr. Nice Guy' interesting if you haven't checked it out yet.. It does not advocating being an asshole, but discusses the "too nice" attitude (which, it turns out, is not nice at all).