4 ms·

"If she stays at home with kids, she was also working." I think it's reasonable to believe that some jobs are harder than other jobs. Staying home with the kid

by larrys 13y ago

"If she stays at home with kids, she was also working." I think it's reasonable to believe that some jobs are harder than other jobs. Staying home with the kids, while hard (and maybe even boring) isn't as demanding as the jobs that some people have. I have to tell you that I'd rather the person who operates on a heart or a brain or flys a 777 (and there are many more I'm just picking a few obvious ones) focus on their job 100% and get rest to function at a top level. Raising children can be hard but it's a different type of hard. Edited for clarity..

Bahamut 13y ago
But the spouse is making sacrifices for you to focus on your career. It's a different kind of hard & still is demanding.
mpclark 13y ago
Oooh, that could be a controversial point of view. I've done a fair bit of the stay-at-home dad thing and I found it HARD. There something unremitting about dealing with the demands of small children while trying to keep the house clean and food on the table (and while my office life was all about getting rid of repetitive tasks, stuff like cleaning and cooking just has to be done again and again, which I found very hard to deal with). I used to look forward to the days I went to the office; they were like days off. No, I would never say that "staying at home with the kids" was the easy option.
- randlet 13y ago
  Very much agreed. For me staying home with my kid is much harder than going to work. It is boring, repetitive, frustrating...mentally draining.
  - poorelise 13y ago
    Maybe you should do more fun things with your kid? You could even leave the house together with the kid. A further step might be visiting other people with kids, leaving the kids to play with each other and their parents with time to drink coffee and chat in the kitchen. Or get an iPad.
steven2012 13y ago
True, it might not be harder than brain surgery, but neither is your current job, and raising kids is probably harder than your current job. If you don't give a shit about how your kids turn out, then raising kids is pretty easy, but if you actually care, it's probably going to be the hardest job you'll ever have.
- epx 13y ago
  The hardest part is when the kid asks for something and you don't have money.
  - philwelch 13y ago
    Really? Geez, that was easy for my parents. "We can't afford it." Getting your kids whatever they ask for is a terrible idea anyway.
    - epx 13y ago
      Obviously I was referring to basic needs, not to the latest 100-pack of Hot Wheels Color Shifters.
      - philwelch 13y ago
        Yeah...it must be pretty bad when your kids have to ask for food and shelter.
bmj 13y ago
I have to tell you that I'd rather the person who operates on a heart or a brain or flys a 777 (and there are many more I'm just picking a few obvious ones) focus on their job 100% and get rest to function at a top level. Then those people should probably think long and hard about having families, right? I'm of the opinion that if you really want to devote yourself to a career, you should skip having kids. Interestingly, the same traits that help in career advancement (hard work, willingness to sacrifice) are the same traits that help foster a successful marriage and family. Certainly, a few people can pull off both, but I suspect those people are the exceptions, not the rule.
bzbarsky 13y ago
While some jobs are in fact harder than other jobs, I will bet that being a typical stay-at-home parent with three children (the situation under discussion here) is in fact harder in most ways than being an average 777 pilot. It's certainly harder than programming, and I say that having tried both. Especially if the children are fairly closely spaced and still young. If you think staying at home with three kids is likely to be _boring_ (as opposed to not intellectually stimulating, which is a different story), I have to wonder whether you've ever tried it. Of course it's a lot easier in the short term to get away with being a crappy parent than a crappy pilot...

by larrys 13y ago

Bahamut 13y ago

But the spouse is making sacrifices for you to focus on your career. It's a different kind of hard & still is demanding.

mpclark 13y ago

Oooh, that could be a controversial point of view. I've done a fair bit of the stay-at-home dad thing and I found it HARD. There something unremitting about dealing with the demands of small children while trying to keep the house clean and food on the table (and while my office life was all about getting rid of repetitive tasks, stuff like cleaning and cooking just has to be done again and again, which I found very hard to deal with). I used to look forward to the days I went to the office; they were like days off. No, I would never say that "staying at home with the kids" was the easy option.

randlet 13y ago
Very much agreed. For me staying home with my kid is much harder than going to work. It is boring, repetitive, frustrating...mentally draining.
- poorelise 13y ago
  Maybe you should do more fun things with your kid? You could even leave the house together with the kid. A further step might be visiting other people with kids, leaving the kids to play with each other and their parents with time to drink coffee and chat in the kitchen. Or get an iPad.

steven2012 13y ago

True, it might not be harder than brain surgery, but neither is your current job, and raising kids is probably harder than your current job. If you don't give a shit about how your kids turn out, then raising kids is pretty easy, but if you actually care, it's probably going to be the hardest job you'll ever have.

epx 13y ago
The hardest part is when the kid asks for something and you don't have money.
- philwelch 13y ago
  Really? Geez, that was easy for my parents. "We can't afford it." Getting your kids whatever they ask for is a terrible idea anyway.
  - epx 13y ago
    Obviously I was referring to basic needs, not to the latest 100-pack of Hot Wheels Color Shifters.
    - philwelch 13y ago
      Yeah...it must be pretty bad when your kids have to ask for food and shelter.

bmj 13y ago

I have to tell you that I'd rather the person who operates on a heart or a brain or flys a 777 (and there are many more I'm just picking a few obvious ones) focus on their job 100% and get rest to function at a top level. Then those people should probably think long and hard about having families, right? I'm of the opinion that if you really want to devote yourself to a career, you should skip having kids. Interestingly, the same traits that help in career advancement (hard work, willingness to sacrifice) are the same traits that help foster a successful marriage and family. Certainly, a few people can pull off both, but I suspect those people are the exceptions, not the rule.

bzbarsky 13y ago

While some jobs are in fact harder than other jobs, I will bet that being a typical stay-at-home parent with three children (the situation under discussion here) is in fact harder in most ways than being an average 777 pilot. It's certainly harder than programming, and I say that having tried both. Especially if the children are fairly closely spaced and still young. If you think staying at home with three kids is likely to be _boring_ (as opposed to not intellectually stimulating, which is a different story), I have to wonder whether you've ever tried it. Of course it's a lot easier in the short term to get away with being a crappy parent than a crappy pilot...