The way companies work in real life, having an offer in hand gives your manager more motivation and leverage (to get more money for you) than he has to help an

The way companies work in real life, having an offer in hand gives your manager more motivation and leverage (to get more money for you) than he has to help an employee who is not seen as "in play." In other words, to improve your situation at a good but not perfect job, you sometimes need to get an external offer. Maybe that's not how it should be, but it's demonstrably how it is. You have ongoing relationships with people, including your managers and co-workers - don't burn those. But your "relationship" with your employer [company], at least in Silicon Valley, is transactional.