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>I would say 95% of men on dating sites... Citation please or be responsible and remove this baseless claim.

by vdaniuk 13y ago

masklinn 13y ago
Anecdote is not data, but see comments in the 2x thread which seem to indicate that 95% (of active male users) is — if anything — an understatement. E.g. > Out of over 300 messages, less than 10% were actual introductions rather than a plain 'hi' or some rude sexual commentary. I responded to every single one of them. 90% of those [nb: the initially actual non-sexual introductions] turned into something sexual in less than 8 back/forth exchanges. In the end out of somewhere around 340 first contact msgs received, only one guy actually carried on a normal, reasonable conversation longer than a few paragraphs, and even he made one or two not entirely subtle hints in the process.
- vdaniuk 13y ago
  Anecdote is not data. Period.
- reitzensteinm 13y ago
  Even if that were generally true, you can't just jump metrics from messages to men like that. People using the site respectfully could be the vast majority, but still be drowned out by a small subset of users who copy and paste the same messages to as many profiles as they can find. If I applied your same logic to my inbox, I'd conclude that 95% of online businesses are dubious Canadian pharmacies selling Viagra without a prescription.
- girvo 13y ago
  How is a "hi" not an introduction? That means everything I've ever sent on online dating would come under their "crap" filter :/ I always start with a plain "hi".
- deleted 13y ago
  [deleted]
- wvh 13y ago
  "I'm a man. I haven't had sex in two days. It hurts. I need some. Badly. Where do I find women looking for a man? Wait... Of course... Dating sites. Surely if I message 100 women, at least one must want to have sex, just like me?" Statistics don't proof anything. A few rotten apples can cause most of the spam. Besides, I doubt there are many men who don't put at least some sexual innuendos into a conversation with a potential mate, even if they are really desperately looking for a serious long-term relationship. A relationship consists of 2 parties, both with equal rights to have desires and requirements, hopes and dreams. We're not getting anywhere by implying one side is all bad and wrong and disgusting. Your quote sounds more like a witchhunt on men than a (undoubtedly deserved) complaint about some of the more abusive "empty the uzi and see what got hit" Don Juans.
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
- vdaniuk 13y ago
  Your comment seems hypocritical to me. Ofc, you're bashing guys by stating that 95% of men on dating sites send creepy messages. And ofc, you're comparing those creepy guys to ethical self and stating emphatically: "I am NOT like them, I met my SO at a non-dating site". So yeah, you are here to bash guys. Concerning your "its just an opinion" defense, I'd like to share a quote by Harlan Ellison — 'You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.' EDIT Took a look at your HN profile statement, now its clear that you have an agenda.
  - camus2 13y ago
    > EDIT Took a look at your HN profile statement, now its clear that you have an agenda. Give me a break. You are paranoid.
    - vdaniuk 13y ago
      I'll give you another quote: Joseph Heller — 'Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you' ;)
- Dewie 13y ago
  > I'm not here to bash guys , I am one. We've got to get rid of this misconception that if you're a certain gender, you can't possibly be generally hostile towards that same gender. Just a side-note about this in general.

>I would say 95% of men on dating sites... Citation please or be responsible and remove this baseless claim.

by vdaniuk 13y ago

>I would say 95% of men on dating sites... Citation please or be responsible and remove this baseless claim.

Anecdote is not data, but see comments in the 2x thread which seem to indicate that 95% (of active male users) is — if anything — an understatement. E.g. > Out of over 300 messages, less than 10% were actual introductions rather than a plain 'hi' or some rude sexual commentary. I responded to every single one of them. 90% of those [nb: the initially actual non-sexual introductions] turned into something sexual in less than 8 back/forth exchanges. In the end out of somewhere around 340 first contact msgs received, only one guy actually carried on a normal, reasonable conversation longer than a few paragraphs, and even he made one or two not entirely subtle hints in the process.

vdaniuk 13y ago
Anecdote is not data. Period.
reitzensteinm 13y ago
Even if that were generally true, you can't just jump metrics from messages to men like that. People using the site respectfully could be the vast majority, but still be drowned out by a small subset of users who copy and paste the same messages to as many profiles as they can find. If I applied your same logic to my inbox, I'd conclude that 95% of online businesses are dubious Canadian pharmacies selling Viagra without a prescription.
girvo 13y ago
How is a "hi" not an introduction? That means everything I've ever sent on online dating would come under their "crap" filter :/ I always start with a plain "hi".
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
wvh 13y ago
"I'm a man. I haven't had sex in two days. It hurts. I need some. Badly. Where do I find women looking for a man? Wait... Of course... Dating sites. Surely if I message 100 women, at least one must want to have sex, just like me?" Statistics don't proof anything. A few rotten apples can cause most of the spam. Besides, I doubt there are many men who don't put at least some sexual innuendos into a conversation with a potential mate, even if they are really desperately looking for a serious long-term relationship. A relationship consists of 2 parties, both with equal rights to have desires and requirements, hopes and dreams. We're not getting anywhere by implying one side is all bad and wrong and disgusting. Your quote sounds more like a witchhunt on men than a (undoubtedly deserved) complaint about some of the more abusive "empty the uzi and see what got hit" Don Juans.

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

vdaniuk 13y ago
Your comment seems hypocritical to me. Ofc, you're bashing guys by stating that 95% of men on dating sites send creepy messages. And ofc, you're comparing those creepy guys to ethical self and stating emphatically: "I am NOT like them, I met my SO at a non-dating site". So yeah, you are here to bash guys. Concerning your "its just an opinion" defense, I'd like to share a quote by Harlan Ellison — 'You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.' EDIT Took a look at your HN profile statement, now its clear that you have an agenda.
- camus2 13y ago
  > EDIT Took a look at your HN profile statement, now its clear that you have an agenda. Give me a break. You are paranoid.
  - vdaniuk 13y ago
    I'll give you another quote: Joseph Heller — 'Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you' ;)
Dewie 13y ago
> I'm not here to bash guys , I am one. We've got to get rid of this misconception that if you're a certain gender, you can't possibly be generally hostile towards that same gender. Just a side-note about this in general.