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But if the person is threatening your life, it makes no sense to get a restraining order. "Yes, I know you want to kill me, so don't contact me, don't come nea

But if the person is threatening your life, it makes no sense to get a restraining order. "Yes, I know you want to kill me, so don't contact me, don't come near my home at such and such address, or my work at such and such address, or you will be guilty of a minor misdemeanor!" Right.... that's a good idea...

hyperpape 13y ago
It's true that it isn't nearly as effective as you'd hope but it does help enhance your ability to get the police quickly involved, establish a paper trail, etc.
- einhverfr 13y ago
  None of that matters if you are dead. If someone is out to kill you, go hide with relatives, some ways not too close. Don't serve them with a restraining order.
  - hyperpape 13y ago
    Fair enough for that literal description, meaning that the parent poster was sloppy. But at some point between an unfriendly breakup and literal threats of murder, the restraining order is the right response. I think that's the key point.
    - einhverfr 13y ago
      Oh sure. I would even say a "credible threat of murder."
  - aestra 13y ago
    >If someone is out to kill you, go hide with relatives, some ways not too close. Define not too close. My closest relatives are over 200 miles away. Am I expected to quit my job? Take my children (If I had them) out of school? For how long? This person may know exactly who all your relatives are and where they live, thus know exactly where to find you anyways.
    - hyperpape 13y ago
      I think the real answer is "don't take advice from HN". I know someone who moved halfway across the country to avoid domestic violence. Sometimes it is an answer. It shouldn't ever need to be, but in reality, it's sometimes the only option a woman has available.
      - rmc 13y ago
        So let's create some new options like restraining orders.
king_jester 13y ago
Without a restraining order, it is much harder to get the police to respond to harassing or stalking behaviors from someone. The restraining order certainly wouldn't be enough in a life-threatening situation, but it is one tool.
rmc 13y ago
It makes perfect sense if the person is likely to kill/harm you in a fit of passion. If the harasser could get carried away in an argument and start beating, but didn't leave the house planning to kill, then restraining orders can limit the time the harasser is around you and limit the time before they 'blow their cool'. When the harasser breaks the restraining order and comes near you "just to talk, I promise", you can get the police involved straight away, and the harasser can be hauled off before they lose their cool.
aestra 13y ago
If you are served a restraining order, you almost always already know these locations. If you don't know these locations, there is almost no reason to serve a restraining order. Some of the people replying here clearly have no experience with stalking or domestic violence... They are much more scary than you can imagine.

hyperpape 13y ago

It's true that it isn't nearly as effective as you'd hope but it does help enhance your ability to get the police quickly involved, establish a paper trail, etc.

einhverfr 13y ago
None of that matters if you are dead. If someone is out to kill you, go hide with relatives, some ways not too close. Don't serve them with a restraining order.
- hyperpape 13y ago
  Fair enough for that literal description, meaning that the parent poster was sloppy. But at some point between an unfriendly breakup and literal threats of murder, the restraining order is the right response. I think that's the key point.
  - einhverfr 13y ago
    Oh sure. I would even say a "credible threat of murder."
- aestra 13y ago
  >If someone is out to kill you, go hide with relatives, some ways not too close. Define not too close. My closest relatives are over 200 miles away. Am I expected to quit my job? Take my children (If I had them) out of school? For how long? This person may know exactly who all your relatives are and where they live, thus know exactly where to find you anyways.
  - hyperpape 13y ago
    I think the real answer is "don't take advice from HN". I know someone who moved halfway across the country to avoid domestic violence. Sometimes it is an answer. It shouldn't ever need to be, but in reality, it's sometimes the only option a woman has available.
    - rmc 13y ago
      So let's create some new options like restraining orders.

king_jester 13y ago

Without a restraining order, it is much harder to get the police to respond to harassing or stalking behaviors from someone. The restraining order certainly wouldn't be enough in a life-threatening situation, but it is one tool.

rmc 13y ago

It makes perfect sense if the person is likely to kill/harm you in a fit of passion. If the harasser could get carried away in an argument and start beating, but didn't leave the house planning to kill, then restraining orders can limit the time the harasser is around you and limit the time before they 'blow their cool'. When the harasser breaks the restraining order and comes near you "just to talk, I promise", you can get the police involved straight away, and the harasser can be hauled off before they lose their cool.

aestra 13y ago

If you are served a restraining order, you almost always already know these locations. If you don't know these locations, there is almost no reason to serve a restraining order. Some of the people replying here clearly have no experience with stalking or domestic violence... They are much more scary than you can imagine.