If you could let me know where I can get illicit access to ASIC miners I'm all ears. From what I can tell those fucking things are guarded by all who own them

If you could let me know where I can get illicit access to ASIC miners I'm all ears. From what I can tell those fucking things are guarded by all who own them in a severe way. EDIT: I'm not actually interested in stealing time on people's ASICs to mine bitcoin. I just think it's effectively impossible to do so. But I'm genuinely curious to know if there's a plausible attack vector.