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I respectfully disagree. There is nothing wrong with rewarding the child for his/her accomplishment, quite the contrary. I would also argue that it is especiall

by amenod 13y ago

I respectfully disagree. There is nothing wrong with rewarding the child for his/her accomplishment, quite the contrary. I would also argue that it is especially important to show your love through the praise - verbal or not. If you try to repress that by using weird phrases like the one above I think you are not doing your child a favor. The children learn from example, not from your words. Do YOU have fun doing your work? Do YOU enjoy mowing the lawn? Do YOU enjoy riding the bicycle? Then your child will too. Admittedly I haven't read Jull, but I have heard a few quotes from his books before and none of them made sense to me either.

perlgeek 13y ago
You're right, there's nothing wrong with praise. It just shouldn't be the major reaction that children get from their parents. > The children learn from example, not from your words. Do YOU have fun doing your work? Do YOU enjoy mowing the lawn? Do YOU enjoy riding the bicycle? Then your child will too. Correct. And do you value them for just being them, instead of their achievements and their effort? if yes, they will too. > Admittedly I haven't read Jull, but I have heard a few quotes from his books before and none of them made sense to me either. They didn't make sense to me either, until I actually read the book. It's too big a shift from "standard" educational approaches to be summarized in a few quotes.
sesquipedantic 13y ago
A parent's simple act of being responsive is a form of praise. This will typically include looking and smiling, though there's little point in trying to fake such things if they don't come naturally. Children who don't have responsive parents will tend to 'misbehave' until the parents become more responsive. I put 'misbehave' in quotes because although the form of the behaviour is bad, children are entitled to have responsive parents, and they know no other means of obtaining them I think I know what you mean about words: children learn their moral ideas from parental behavior rather than from what their parents explicitly tell them to do. But note that parental behavior includes words. So the principle is consistent with giving verbal descriptions of what a child is doing as he is doing it, or just after, or asking a question about it if you have one. (I mean a real question, which is only rarely about feelings. I add this because all too many adult-child interactions are peppered with fake questions like 'Are you a good boy?' etc) Verbal descriptions are helpful especially when, as we are discussing, something cool has happened, since there the child is operating at the edge of his ability and understanding, which is usually inexplicit in his mind. A verbal understanding helps to consolidate the achievement and also to introduce creative variations

by amenod 13y ago

perlgeek 13y ago

You're right, there's nothing wrong with praise. It just shouldn't be the major reaction that children get from their parents. > The children learn from example, not from your words. Do YOU have fun doing your work? Do YOU enjoy mowing the lawn? Do YOU enjoy riding the bicycle? Then your child will too. Correct. And do you value them for just being them, instead of their achievements and their effort? if yes, they will too. > Admittedly I haven't read Jull, but I have heard a few quotes from his books before and none of them made sense to me either. They didn't make sense to me either, until I actually read the book. It's too big a shift from "standard" educational approaches to be summarized in a few quotes.

sesquipedantic 13y ago

A parent's simple act of being responsive is a form of praise. This will typically include looking and smiling, though there's little point in trying to fake such things if they don't come naturally. Children who don't have responsive parents will tend to 'misbehave' until the parents become more responsive. I put 'misbehave' in quotes because although the form of the behaviour is bad, children are entitled to have responsive parents, and they know no other means of obtaining them I think I know what you mean about words: children learn their moral ideas from parental behavior rather than from what their parents explicitly tell them to do. But note that parental behavior includes words. So the principle is consistent with giving verbal descriptions of what a child is doing as he is doing it, or just after, or asking a question about it if you have one. (I mean a real question, which is only rarely about feelings. I add this because all too many adult-child interactions are peppered with fake questions like 'Are you a good boy?' etc) Verbal descriptions are helpful especially when, as we are discussing, something cool has happened, since there the child is operating at the edge of his ability and understanding, which is usually inexplicit in his mind. A verbal understanding helps to consolidate the achievement and also to introduce creative variations