Wow, I got way more responses to this than I thought I would. As well, this solves my problem! Once again the old internet wisdom of "you can only get help by

Wow, I got way more responses to this than I thought I would. As well, this solves my problem! Once again the old internet wisdom of "you can only get help by disguising your question as whining" is proved true: http://bash.org/?152037 http://bash.org/?152037