They aren't actually reviewing apps by hand, the reviewers aren't remotely competent enough to make any technical assessments at all. They don't even review obv

They aren't actually reviewing apps by hand, the reviewers aren't remotely competent enough to make any technical assessments at all. They don't even review obvious copyright / trademark infringement! They don't do any basic static analysis of your object code, even to check for private symbols, and they don't have your source code. They don't even take the obvious step of having some APIs be mutually exclusive! Their process is as immature as it could possibly be. I had assumed the reviewers were mouthbreathers from a temp agency, but apparently they are actual Apple employees! It's possible that they're just the low-skilled drones that were reviewing media submissions from the labels and studios.