I learned this over a decade ago managing one of those old-fashioned "forums". A decent-sized and long lived one. The secret to overall satisfaction (there wi

I learned this over a decade ago managing one of those old-fashioned "forums". A decent-sized and long lived one. The secret to overall satisfaction (there will always be outliers) is a policy and approach of "opt-in". We never tried to "break" anonymity. As people became comfortable with each other, they often shared personal contact information (mostly, privately). And because they were otherwise anonymous, they felt comfortable sharing and discussing matters they otherwise would not have. To everyone's benefit. We had limits, and these were stated up front, and forum members felt invested in pointing them out and helping to enforce them (e.g. reporting serious violations) when necessary. Forum members also had input to the policy, both in ongoing suggestions as well as during periodic, publicly announced reviews. People participated as much, or as little, as they wanted to. And they shared, both publicly and privately, what they wanted to. Private and orthogonal communication channels were, well, if not overtly encouraged, then certainly not discouraged -- although we would caution people about sharing too much too quickly. Think about it. Take your time. "Opt in" to what you are comfortable with. We ended up with a very loyal and long-standing community. And a significantly sized one, that did literally span the globe. Now, from a mass commercial perspective, perhaps many people will find difficulty in how such policy and site is supposed to work, financially. And I'm not saying I have all the answers to that. Nonetheless, "opt-in" still nags at me as the way to go. When Facebook was more "opt-in", it was the hotness. Size and Grandma being on it (not to mention your parents -- argh!) may be one thing -- one deterrent. But the loss of "opt-in", and an increasingly panopticon feel? That to me seems far worse. Facebook should be improving opt-in and the ability to segregate into communities that have their own degrees of privacy. Encourage people to meet and share -- on their own terms. Provide the venue. Don't force it on them.