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To be blunt, this is fairly useless advice. Awareness is important because this leads to support groups and official mechanisms to handle bullying. It also remo
by kghose 13y ago
To be blunt, this is fairly useless advice. Awareness is important because this leads to support groups and official mechanisms to handle bullying. It also removes stigma.
- yogo 13y agoYou might be right now that the damage is done in some situations, but in many cultures where you teach kids to stand up for themselves, I think they'll be alright in adulthood. You might not win every fight, but you show up. After all, the problems and challenges you face in life can be broken down to run or fight.
- whistlerbrk 13y agoI agree. Fight or flight is our instinct. But we teach children flight and tattle instead. So why is it a surprise when they grow up and can't handle any problems for themselves without guidance? Why are we perpetually fighting our instinct as humans? Our baser nature can be brutal sometimes, but if we completely suppress it when it does come out it is far far far worse. At some point, you need to say "no, I will not stand for this" and face your antagonist. In my experience once you do that, they either shrink away and cower forever or become a great ally.
- vitd 13y agoSo you advocate vigilantism instead of notifying the appropriate authorities? Shouldn't kids (or anyone being bullied) remove themselves from the situation and have the appropriate authority handle it? That seems like the more mature thing to do to me.
- whistlerbrk 13y agoKids aren't mature. No, I don't advocate vigilantism. I advocate learning how to use the tools in your toolbox. If you have tried and failed to deal with something yourself, then you escalate. Same thing with everything. If you try and can't complete a math problem, you ask a peer for advice, then ask a teacher, etc.
- eschaton 13y agoSo what do you suggest a victim do? How do you suggest a victim confront a bully? Ask them to please stop because it's not very nice, and maybe they're just not aware of it, and only once they escalate after that (and they will) go to an authority where it'll be treated as "not one-sided" due to that interaction?
- eschaton 13y agoYour use of the term "tattle" makes it sound like perhaps you've done something someone didn't like in the past, and they reported it, and you had to deal with the consequences. If they'd just approached you directly everything would've been fine right? For you, at least.
- kghose 13y agoIt's curious to me that you think raising awareness is orthogonal to teaching people self respect.
- actsasbuffoon 13y agoThere are logical limits. I went to high school with a guy named Brad (name changed to protect his anonymity). Brad was walking home from work when he came across a couple of guys beating up one of his friends. He hopped in to save his friend and ended up killing one of the attackers. He's serving a life sentence in federal prison now. If he'd gone to the police then that boy would still be alive, and he'd be a free man. Framed in the context of run/fight it sounds like he did the courageous thing, but he also clearly did the wrong thing.