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Interesting. I would like to meet this person. I find it very helpful to surround myself with people that have a different way of seeing the world.

by Fuxy 13y ago

sillysaurus2 13y ago
I would like to meet this person. No, no no no no. No you would not. Not unless you mean it like "I'd like to meet a serial killer, just for the experience." Maybe it'd be interesting to get their point of view, sure, but you are far better off without them in your life. And certainly without having any form of relationship with them. One of the main reasons this guy wrote this letter was probably self-aggrandization. The very fact that you find him more interesting is exactly what he wanted. That's not inherently a bad thing. What's inherently a bad thing is that when human remorse and guilt have been genetically disabled, those people will do things to you which are fucked up. I have experienced the blunt, raw force of their emotional carpet bombing firsthand from a certain family member. Everyone needs to remember that these people are hardwired to be deliberately manipulative, because they feel good only when you're giving them attention. Then they feel good only when you're doing things they've conned you into believing you want to do; sometimes things you'll feel shitty about for the rest of your life, once you snap out of it and realize you've been a puppet.
- ama729 13y ago
  > What's inherently a bad thing is that when human remorse and guilt has been genetically disabled, those people will do things to you which are fucked up. Honestly, did you read the entire letter? Because he clearly address that point: Its true that I do not 'feel' guilt or remorse, except to the extent that it affects me directly, but I do feel other emotions, which do not have adequate words of description, but nevertheless cause me to derive satisfacton in developing interpersonal relationships, contributing to society, and being gentle as well as assertive.
  - sillysaurus2 13y ago
    Isn't it possible the person who is genetically predisposed to being manipulative is manipulating your feelings here? Yes, what he wrote is interesting, and I read all of it. No, I don't believe he feels "satisfaction in contributing to society." I believe he feels satisfaction in contributing to himself and his own self-image, even unblinkingly at the expense of others. I'm of course biased in this, having been the target of one of these manipulators, so maybe it's better to ignore me. But man, be grateful you weren't the target, because it had pretty dramatic effects on my life, and took a long time to get over.
    - jerf 13y ago
      "Isn't it possible the person who is genetically predisposed to being manipulative is manipulating your feelings here?" Absolutely yes, but I also can't help but notice the argument as you are making it is a bit too powerful; no matter what he says or does, there's no way for him to overcome the argument. We're only a short step away from simply labeling someone a psychopath, then declaring you can't trust anything they say. We can't really know his internal mental and emotional state here, and that's not unique to psychopaths, that's true of everybody. You may very well still be correct. For all I know, the whole story is made up from whole cloth. But it's at least possibly true, too.
      - ams6110 13y ago
        "You knew I was a snake when you picked me up"
    - wpietri 13y ago
      I had that exact question. When the tiger tells you that he's overcome his taste for human flesh he could be quite sincere, or he could be lying. Even if sincere, he could be wrong. I wish the fellow the best of luck, and I hope one day we can build a society where we can safely accommodate all the people like him. When I go to the zoo, I feel compassion for the tigers in their cages. But if they're loose, padding around the halls, I'd hope that I'd have the sense not to try to snuggle up to them, no matter how tame they seemed.
- deleted 13y ago
  [deleted]
- beaker52 13y ago
  Love is the kindest and most valuable thing we can spread in this world and your reply offered none to this individual. He is no less deserving than any other. We all have the same life sentence. We're all trying to do our thing, he, you and I included. More love, less hate. Please.
  - sillysaurus2 13y ago
    This is actually the central reason I was so torn up over my experience, and one of the reasons the whole thing sometimes still haunts me. Because the only possible way out of my situation was to completely cut ties, and shut off the love. I'm a loving person and it absolutely tore me up for a long time. Eventually I came to terms with the fact that if I wanted to lead a life without torment, it was a necessary evil. These people will stop at nothing until you're twisted around their pinkie finger, and they will prey on your forgiving nature. It's why I'm trying to call attention to how dangerous they are. But words aren't adequate to convey the breadth and magnitude of their ability to carve out chunks of your life for their own purposes. They'll take all your love and steamroll you in return.
    - Fuxy 13y ago
      You're personalty can't handle a psychopath mine can. I'm not loving nor forgiving and although I do poses empathy and remorse can contentiously suppers it. Everything has to be earned with me. This applies to everybody including my own parents. I grew up around manipulative people i know how to deal with them. I actually instinctively distance myself from them. I'm not saying I would be his friend but i find his point of view valuable as long as he doesn't try it with me. I would notice if he did.
      - sillysaurus2 13y ago
        Mm, well, best of luck. It was more a warning for people without your unique skillset, though.
      - LaGrange 13y ago
        "You're personalty can't handle a psychopath mine can.” You actually come off like someone who claims that they had grown up around airplane pilots and therefore can handle gravity. It’s actually unlikely you can. "I would notice if he did.” I’m just going to call that posturing.
- Taek 13y ago
  This is over cautious, and you use your own experiences as too much of an example of "this is what will always happen." If you think of people like psychopaths and serial killers as fire, and your experience of getting burned (whether it was in your control or not), you might acknowledge that circumstances could be set up where a meeting with a psychopath could happen in a safe and protected way. People who are very different from you (even dangerous) probably share traits with you that are much more exaggerated in themselves. Their experiences have analogs to yours, and even though they are fundamentally different from you they can still teach you a lot about yourself. I would relish the opportunity to meet a serial killer. Would I meet him in a dark ally with no law enforcement or witnesses? Of course not, if I had any control I would avoid that scenario. If I had the opportunity to let a psychopath become an integral part of my family, I would reject that as well (not everybody has the luxury, I understand). But if we are meeting for coffee in a reasonably populated restaurant, I think the conversation could be very beneficial to myself. Dangerous does not guarantee disastrous.
contextual 13y ago
Pathological lying and manipulativeness are hallmarks of a psychopath [1]. It would be like befriending a spider - when you're the fly. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hare_Psychopathy_Checklist https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hare_Psychopathy_Checklist
- kingkawn 13y ago
  These are justifications for not attempting to understand and thereby humanize him. These same sort of broad brush strokes have been used against any group of people that are deemed unworthy of being truly seen.
  - contextual 13y ago
    After 50 years of research, that is the understanding of a psychopath. Pathological lying, lack of remorse or guilt, manipulativeness, superficial charm are what make a psychopath a psychopath. You wouldn't pass any of the dozens of psychopath tests available if you lacked these traits, and you certainly wouldn't call yourself a psychopath.
    - kingkawn 13y ago
      We have no predictive power to show who will become a psychopath. There are loose associations, and a jumble of character traits that are shared with any number of other syndromes and illnesses. Any personality trait can be made or unmade.
    - kansface 13y ago
      Do you know why psychopaths can't beat the test?
      - contextual 13y ago
        Some of the test questions I've seen aren't really questions. They're scenario based statements designed to uncover the subject's true way of thinking. I'm sure these tests can be defeated though. Please keep in mind I'm not a psychologist or expert on the subject.
calinet6 13y ago
I implore you—do not willingly bring a psychopath into your life.

Interesting. I would like to meet this person. I find it very helpful to surround myself with people that have a different way of seeing the world.

by Fuxy 13y ago

Interesting. I would like to meet this person. I find it very helpful to surround myself with people that have a different way of seeing the world.

sillysaurus2 13y ago

I would like to meet this person. No, no no no no. No you would not. Not unless you mean it like "I'd like to meet a serial killer, just for the experience." Maybe it'd be interesting to get their point of view, sure, but you are far better off without them in your life. And certainly without having any form of relationship with them. One of the main reasons this guy wrote this letter was probably self-aggrandization. The very fact that you find him more interesting is exactly what he wanted. That's not inherently a bad thing. What's inherently a bad thing is that when human remorse and guilt have been genetically disabled, those people will do things to you which are fucked up. I have experienced the blunt, raw force of their emotional carpet bombing firsthand from a certain family member. Everyone needs to remember that these people are hardwired to be deliberately manipulative, because they feel good only when you're giving them attention. Then they feel good only when you're doing things they've conned you into believing you want to do; sometimes things you'll feel shitty about for the rest of your life, once you snap out of it and realize you've been a puppet.

ama729 13y ago
> What's inherently a bad thing is that when human remorse and guilt has been genetically disabled, those people will do things to you which are fucked up. Honestly, did you read the entire letter? Because he clearly address that point: Its true that I do not 'feel' guilt or remorse, except to the extent that it affects me directly, but I do feel other emotions, which do not have adequate words of description, but nevertheless cause me to derive satisfacton in developing interpersonal relationships, contributing to society, and being gentle as well as assertive.
- sillysaurus2 13y ago
  Isn't it possible the person who is genetically predisposed to being manipulative is manipulating your feelings here? Yes, what he wrote is interesting, and I read all of it. No, I don't believe he feels "satisfaction in contributing to society." I believe he feels satisfaction in contributing to himself and his own self-image, even unblinkingly at the expense of others. I'm of course biased in this, having been the target of one of these manipulators, so maybe it's better to ignore me. But man, be grateful you weren't the target, because it had pretty dramatic effects on my life, and took a long time to get over.
  - jerf 13y ago
    "Isn't it possible the person who is genetically predisposed to being manipulative is manipulating your feelings here?" Absolutely yes, but I also can't help but notice the argument as you are making it is a bit too powerful; no matter what he says or does, there's no way for him to overcome the argument. We're only a short step away from simply labeling someone a psychopath, then declaring you can't trust anything they say. We can't really know his internal mental and emotional state here, and that's not unique to psychopaths, that's true of everybody. You may very well still be correct. For all I know, the whole story is made up from whole cloth. But it's at least possibly true, too.
    - ams6110 13y ago
      "You knew I was a snake when you picked me up"
  - wpietri 13y ago
    I had that exact question. When the tiger tells you that he's overcome his taste for human flesh he could be quite sincere, or he could be lying. Even if sincere, he could be wrong. I wish the fellow the best of luck, and I hope one day we can build a society where we can safely accommodate all the people like him. When I go to the zoo, I feel compassion for the tigers in their cages. But if they're loose, padding around the halls, I'd hope that I'd have the sense not to try to snuggle up to them, no matter how tame they seemed.
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
beaker52 13y ago
Love is the kindest and most valuable thing we can spread in this world and your reply offered none to this individual. He is no less deserving than any other. We all have the same life sentence. We're all trying to do our thing, he, you and I included. More love, less hate. Please.
- sillysaurus2 13y ago
  This is actually the central reason I was so torn up over my experience, and one of the reasons the whole thing sometimes still haunts me. Because the only possible way out of my situation was to completely cut ties, and shut off the love. I'm a loving person and it absolutely tore me up for a long time. Eventually I came to terms with the fact that if I wanted to lead a life without torment, it was a necessary evil. These people will stop at nothing until you're twisted around their pinkie finger, and they will prey on your forgiving nature. It's why I'm trying to call attention to how dangerous they are. But words aren't adequate to convey the breadth and magnitude of their ability to carve out chunks of your life for their own purposes. They'll take all your love and steamroll you in return.
  - Fuxy 13y ago
    You're personalty can't handle a psychopath mine can. I'm not loving nor forgiving and although I do poses empathy and remorse can contentiously suppers it. Everything has to be earned with me. This applies to everybody including my own parents. I grew up around manipulative people i know how to deal with them. I actually instinctively distance myself from them. I'm not saying I would be his friend but i find his point of view valuable as long as he doesn't try it with me. I would notice if he did.
    - sillysaurus2 13y ago
      Mm, well, best of luck. It was more a warning for people without your unique skillset, though.
    - LaGrange 13y ago
      "You're personalty can't handle a psychopath mine can.” You actually come off like someone who claims that they had grown up around airplane pilots and therefore can handle gravity. It’s actually unlikely you can. "I would notice if he did.” I’m just going to call that posturing.
Taek 13y ago
This is over cautious, and you use your own experiences as too much of an example of "this is what will always happen." If you think of people like psychopaths and serial killers as fire, and your experience of getting burned (whether it was in your control or not), you might acknowledge that circumstances could be set up where a meeting with a psychopath could happen in a safe and protected way. People who are very different from you (even dangerous) probably share traits with you that are much more exaggerated in themselves. Their experiences have analogs to yours, and even though they are fundamentally different from you they can still teach you a lot about yourself. I would relish the opportunity to meet a serial killer. Would I meet him in a dark ally with no law enforcement or witnesses? Of course not, if I had any control I would avoid that scenario. If I had the opportunity to let a psychopath become an integral part of my family, I would reject that as well (not everybody has the luxury, I understand). But if we are meeting for coffee in a reasonably populated restaurant, I think the conversation could be very beneficial to myself. Dangerous does not guarantee disastrous.

contextual 13y ago

Pathological lying and manipulativeness are hallmarks of a psychopath [1]. It would be like befriending a spider - when you're the fly. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hare_Psychopathy_Checklist https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hare_Psychopathy_Checklist

kingkawn 13y ago
These are justifications for not attempting to understand and thereby humanize him. These same sort of broad brush strokes have been used against any group of people that are deemed unworthy of being truly seen.
- contextual 13y ago
  After 50 years of research, that is the understanding of a psychopath. Pathological lying, lack of remorse or guilt, manipulativeness, superficial charm are what make a psychopath a psychopath. You wouldn't pass any of the dozens of psychopath tests available if you lacked these traits, and you certainly wouldn't call yourself a psychopath.
  - kingkawn 13y ago
    We have no predictive power to show who will become a psychopath. There are loose associations, and a jumble of character traits that are shared with any number of other syndromes and illnesses. Any personality trait can be made or unmade.
  - kansface 13y ago
    Do you know why psychopaths can't beat the test?
    - contextual 13y ago
      Some of the test questions I've seen aren't really questions. They're scenario based statements designed to uncover the subject's true way of thinking. I'm sure these tests can be defeated though. Please keep in mind I'm not a psychologist or expert on the subject.

calinet6 13y ago

I implore you—do not willingly bring a psychopath into your life.