8 ms·
One of my coworkers, my mentor and someone who taught me what it meant to be a good programmer, was murdered by his wife, who also murdered their two children a
by steven2012 13y ago
One of my coworkers, my mentor and someone who taught me what it meant to be a good programmer, was murdered by his wife, who also murdered their two children and then killed herself.
It took place over a holiday, and I noticed he hadn't shown up afterwards. After a couple of days, I asked my boss if he was on vacation, and he said no, so I emailed him. His body and his family were found the next day by his neighbors. I actually saw his face on the evening news and my heart started racing, because they made it seem as though he was the murderer, but as events came out, he and his beautiful children were the victims.
It was really horrible because he was one of the star programmers at work and responsible for a lot of the success in the company. Everyone loved him and he deserved to be loved. It really hit our company hard, and we had things like counselling meetings but all that did was fuel our anger.
Basically there's nothing you can do. You just have to deal with it and move on. It's been 10+ years, but I'll never forget him though, he deserves at least that.
- bluekitten 13y agoLuckily I haven't had such experiences so far. I guess people go through too many daily stresses, especially in tech life. As the only girl in my team, its hard for me to say no to unpaid overtime because most of other folks can't seem to say no to overworking themselves afterhours and on weekends, giving people others who don't a bad name.
- teraflop 13y agoFYI, bluekitten, you've been hellbanned since December 13.
- gcb0 13y agoOT, i still use my hellbanned accounts (have one for each device/place). and i always browse with showdead on.
- nulagrithom 13y agoInteresting. bluekitten seems to have been hellbanned after posting only two comments. Is that all it takes? Edit: And in the time it took me to post this, the comment appears!
- sillysaurus2 13y agoThis is both mistaken and a distraction from a very important topic. EDIT: It's mistaken that she was banned for her two comments. It's unreasonable to read her comments and conclude she was hellbanned for asking a question about Steam and correcting someone about her gender. There's also no way to know whether she was hellbanned, or simply posting comments via Tor. If a new account posts comments via Tor, those comments are autokilled. It's not till the newbie status wears off (i.e. until your username is no longer green in your comments page) that using Tor won't cause your comments to be autokilled. This is done for obvious reasons: spammers use Tor to spam annoying things. Lastly, there are plenty of nefarious things that one can do to be deservedly hellbanned on HN; bans are issued for more reasons than just writing comments. Oh, and, if you are hellbanned and are sincerely sorry for what you did, you can email info@ycombinator.com with a sincere apology and may get leniency. I know from experience. Can we please get back to letting people unwind about their heartwrenching experiences with mortality now?
- ewoodrich 13y agoEh, I wouldn't say it's a distraction, considering people reveal hellbanning on any manner of topics, for a legitimate reason. And it's not mistaken, I nearly alerted bluekitten that they were banned for no real reason on a different thread, before someone else pointed it out.
- lmm 13y agoBluekitten's still green, so it's unlikely to be the Tor issue you describe. It's perfectly reasonable to conclude she was hellbaned for those things: given the available evidence, it's the most plausible interpretation. Being able to apologise and get unbanned might be a reasonable defence of the system except the entire point of hellbanning is that you can't tell when you've been hellbanned. The lack of transparency or accountability in the HN moderation system is itself a very important topic.
- booyaa00 13y agoYes. Hellbanning is random. Although making 'dissenting' comments, or disagreeing with the hivemind certainly accelerates your hellbanning. I've been hellbanned umpteen times for essentially no good reasons.
- rplnt 13y agoWhy do we see his comments then?
- judk 13y agoTell more about your experience working with him. Maybe not here, but wherever. Maybe to his parents, too.
- steven2012 13y agoHis parents flew in from Europe for the funeral. It was unreal to imagine what they went through, my coworker's entire family was essentially erased. I wrote his father a letter explaining what his son meant to me. I never received a response... I didn't expect one either knowing what they went through, but I felt like it was my obligation to at least let them know.
- simonebrunozzi 13y agoWhat a sad story. Which part of Europe was he from? I am not surprised that his father did not reply, but I'm sure that he appreciated your letter.
- jigneshg 13y agoHi Steven, Sorry to hear your horrible experience loosing good friend and after reading your reply, i feel that the person like him did not deserve such death :( Sometime it is very difficult for human to understand GOD and his punishment !
- heed 13y ago> Sometime it is very difficult for human to understand GOD and his punishment ! What a rude, and offensive thing to say.
- jigneshg 13y agoI am not rude against GOD and i am not complaining. Here i was trying to express my views as i seen many-time that good people are suffering and bad people are enjoying !
- PavlovsCat 13y ago"God and his punishments" == "bad things that happen, life being unfair" etc.? I read this as someone trying to give their condolences the best way they know how, according to their beliefs, in a language that is not their native tongue.
- YoukaiCountry 13y agoThat's what I see, too. I don't think this person deserves the anger. They were trying to be nice.
- 13y ago