4 ms·

I enjoyed the post, but I find it to be such a vast departure from the way I think and feel, mostly because I have a family. Sure, I would love to sit on a bal

by rsobers 13y ago

I enjoyed the post, but I find it to be such a vast departure from the way I think and feel, mostly because I have a family. Sure, I would love to sit on a balcony in New Zealand, coding and listening to the birds, but I couldn't possibly rip my daughter away from her friends and the school she loves. Again, I appreciate the spirit of the post, but reality for most of us precludes this level of whimsy, and I don't necessarily think that's bad.

ThatOtherPerson 13y ago
"Why am I here?" "Because my daughter loves it here." Seems to fit in with what he was saying to me.
- gbog 13y ago
  Don't agree. Something like "because my kids can receive great education here" would be a great answer, but just "lovin' it" means nothing. And having good friends is not a good reason either, because real friends are those that stay close to you when you are far away. Moreover, I'd say adult people's life should not be constructed around their kids. It should be the opposite: kids follow their parents where they go until they can fly alone. I think it has been the case for most of humanity most of the time (the only exceptions could have been "baby kings" like Louis XIII, but they do not count). In the same vein, if you father or mother love hiking, find a way to hike with kids. If you love snorkeling just teach them to snorkel early. If you prefer reading books at home just stay at home. They will follow. Having happy parents is the best gift for kids. In our new society, having kids often means becoming their slave, and you are frowned upon if you dare keeping your hobbies once you have them. This is one of the most worrying mistakes I can imagine. I mean educational mistake. Kids do not need, or even like to be baby dictators.
  - rsobers 13y ago
    Eh, I think too many parents are selfish, especially in America (not saying Sivers is--clearly he's not). How often do you see parents dragging their screaming kids around, giving their 2-year old an iPad to shut them up at the coffee shop, buying a 50" flat screen TV while the college fund is at $0 and the bank accounts are overdrawn. In the spirit of Sivers' post, I think if parents stopped, maybe once a month, and asked themselves "What am I doing to set my children up to have happy lives?" we'd all be better off.
- rsobers 13y ago
  Right, but none of the author's reasons seemed to revolve around anything but his own desire to focus and work on his products. In the context of raising a family, that's hard to justify.
  - sivers 13y ago
    I don't aim to be thorough when blogging. They're just succinct little tidbits. Of course there's more to the story, and of course it was a whole-family decision. In fact my wife kinda led the decision even more than me. We hope to move back to Singapore when our kid is a bit older, but he's still just a baby, so I really want him to grow up outside surrounded by nature, not inside shopping malls.
    - hobbes 13y ago
      Well, none of this is communicated by your blog post. The "more" to your story is actually key to your story, it seems to me. Why did you not include it?
    - rsobers 13y ago
      I hear you and appreciate the brevity, but I think it makes the post sound (to me) a little like: "Hey, I just ask myself a simple question about what I want, follow my heart, and off I go!"
jakejake 13y ago
I was thinking the same thing except more generally just being reasonably close to my family. It's kinda crazy when I was younger I would have thought nothing about just packing up and going anywhere. But you get older, you really start to feel like your family are the most important thing on this earth. I probably would only move at this point if I felt like it was essential in order to seize a really important opportunity. I'm not really tied to my current location for any sentimental reason, but it would just be inconvenient to be too far from family.
andyjdavis 13y ago
>but I couldn't possibly rip my daughter away from her friends and the school she loves I wouldn't be so sure. My parents made two significant moves during my school years which meant a new school and new friends. If you had asked me whether I wanted to move I would have said absolutely not. Looking back as an adult, being taken out of my comfort zone and forced to make a whole new set of friends and being given the opportunity to experience different places was fantastic for me. That's not to say that there weren't some tears along the way...
- beachstartup 13y ago
  it depends on the age of the child. ages 5-12 will probably be fine, but if you do this to a high school kid, there will be hell to pay. it will not end well.
  - joshuakarjala 13y ago
    I agree. I went to 4 different schools in 3 countries before settling in a 5th school in the 5th grade. Moving around was never something I gave much thought - it was just how it was. And I really appreciate the perspective on cultures and life it has given me. I can imagine it being much more traumatic in your teen years - when you start becoming more entrenched with friends / relationships etc.
scrabble 13y ago
I don't think you need to think about the question just in terms of your home's physical location. You can ask it about all sorts of things: your job, your general position in life, a meeting you're attending, even the place you're going for lunch.

by rsobers 13y ago

ThatOtherPerson 13y ago

"Why am I here?" "Because my daughter loves it here." Seems to fit in with what he was saying to me.

gbog 13y ago
Don't agree. Something like "because my kids can receive great education here" would be a great answer, but just "lovin' it" means nothing. And having good friends is not a good reason either, because real friends are those that stay close to you when you are far away. Moreover, I'd say adult people's life should not be constructed around their kids. It should be the opposite: kids follow their parents where they go until they can fly alone. I think it has been the case for most of humanity most of the time (the only exceptions could have been "baby kings" like Louis XIII, but they do not count). In the same vein, if you father or mother love hiking, find a way to hike with kids. If you love snorkeling just teach them to snorkel early. If you prefer reading books at home just stay at home. They will follow. Having happy parents is the best gift for kids. In our new society, having kids often means becoming their slave, and you are frowned upon if you dare keeping your hobbies once you have them. This is one of the most worrying mistakes I can imagine. I mean educational mistake. Kids do not need, or even like to be baby dictators.
- rsobers 13y ago
  Eh, I think too many parents are selfish, especially in America (not saying Sivers is--clearly he's not). How often do you see parents dragging their screaming kids around, giving their 2-year old an iPad to shut them up at the coffee shop, buying a 50" flat screen TV while the college fund is at $0 and the bank accounts are overdrawn. In the spirit of Sivers' post, I think if parents stopped, maybe once a month, and asked themselves "What am I doing to set my children up to have happy lives?" we'd all be better off.
rsobers 13y ago
Right, but none of the author's reasons seemed to revolve around anything but his own desire to focus and work on his products. In the context of raising a family, that's hard to justify.
- sivers 13y ago
  I don't aim to be thorough when blogging. They're just succinct little tidbits. Of course there's more to the story, and of course it was a whole-family decision. In fact my wife kinda led the decision even more than me. We hope to move back to Singapore when our kid is a bit older, but he's still just a baby, so I really want him to grow up outside surrounded by nature, not inside shopping malls.
  - hobbes 13y ago
    Well, none of this is communicated by your blog post. The "more" to your story is actually key to your story, it seems to me. Why did you not include it?
  - rsobers 13y ago
    I hear you and appreciate the brevity, but I think it makes the post sound (to me) a little like: "Hey, I just ask myself a simple question about what I want, follow my heart, and off I go!"

jakejake 13y ago

I was thinking the same thing except more generally just being reasonably close to my family. It's kinda crazy when I was younger I would have thought nothing about just packing up and going anywhere. But you get older, you really start to feel like your family are the most important thing on this earth. I probably would only move at this point if I felt like it was essential in order to seize a really important opportunity. I'm not really tied to my current location for any sentimental reason, but it would just be inconvenient to be too far from family.

andyjdavis 13y ago

>but I couldn't possibly rip my daughter away from her friends and the school she loves I wouldn't be so sure. My parents made two significant moves during my school years which meant a new school and new friends. If you had asked me whether I wanted to move I would have said absolutely not. Looking back as an adult, being taken out of my comfort zone and forced to make a whole new set of friends and being given the opportunity to experience different places was fantastic for me. That's not to say that there weren't some tears along the way...

beachstartup 13y ago
it depends on the age of the child. ages 5-12 will probably be fine, but if you do this to a high school kid, there will be hell to pay. it will not end well.
- joshuakarjala 13y ago
  I agree. I went to 4 different schools in 3 countries before settling in a 5th school in the 5th grade. Moving around was never something I gave much thought - it was just how it was. And I really appreciate the perspective on cultures and life it has given me. I can imagine it being much more traumatic in your teen years - when you start becoming more entrenched with friends / relationships etc.

scrabble 13y ago

I don't think you need to think about the question just in terms of your home's physical location. You can ask it about all sorts of things: your job, your general position in life, a meeting you're attending, even the place you're going for lunch.