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My mom grew up in a farm in the middle of nowhere with nothing, in a heavily oppressed country, now she's a top tier executive at a bank. I don't think the touc

by rfnslyr 13y ago

My mom grew up in a farm in the middle of nowhere with nothing, in a heavily oppressed country, now she's a top tier executive at a bank. I don't think the touchy feely bullshit most women have to deal with and blog about holds a candle to what my Mom has been through, so I'm not sure your equation works. Thanks for the non-response.

pyrocat 13y ago
Then ask her about her career at the bank and if she ever felt it would've progressed more easily if she was male. Otherwise you're just making assumptions about her feelings.
- rfnslyr 13y ago
  No, we've spoken about this intensely. It is our view that if it is not physically hurting you, find a way to mitigate it or use it to your advantage. My Mother knows her self worth. Sexist comments and remarks don't do anything to her, because she doesn't let others determine who she is or how she feels. If someone calls me a "faggot", why would I get mad? I'm not a "faggot", so how can this persons words possibly shape me into one? It just helps her differentiate the people she wants to associate with, and the idiots she doesn't want to associate with. When you grow up in SHIT, you tend to get lost in meaningless details like insults from people that don't matter to you. When you are fending for your life every single day against criminals, rapists, murders, and starvation for the first 20 years of your life, meaningless bullshit like "the white male patriarchy" tends to get lost on you. Insults and ill treatment excite us because it adds fuel to our fire, you now have a weapon to use against somebody. When we get insulted, we don't get upset, we collect it, and use it against them because ultimately it's meaningless and it's THEIR problem, not mine. My Mom got to where she was by being great at her job and being a very thick skinned and clever social engineer. The assholes were left behind. She could have dwelled, but she didn't. She could have cried all day and night about some off hand remark that probably wasn't even intentionally sexist in nature, but she didn't, and neither should you. We don't believe in modern pseudo-feminism, sorry. I work with loads of women from third world countries that worked their asses off for their entire early lives just to afford themselves the CHANCE of making it by coming to a first world country with $0. If they don't get off, where do you get off? Check your privilege.
  - callahad 13y ago
    > If someone calls me a "faggot", why would I get mad? I'm not a "faggot", so how can this persons words possibly shape me into one? It's fortunate that you can simply choose not to identify with that particular insult, but what about people who do identify as homosexual? Or who are genderqueer? Edit: Why does this matter? It's just especially shitty and dehumanizing when you identify as something that is seen as culturally acceptable to debase. Privilege is being able to dismiss things with "Hah! That's ridiculous! I'm not a Foo," which still allows room for and/or even implies the denigration of Foos. That's not to say you should deviate from your fuck-the-haters approach. It's great that you and your mother have sufficiently thick skin to forge ahead in spite of ill-informed discrimination, but not everyone has the same fortitude. The cultural norms we establish can go a long way toward creating a better context for everyone.
    - transitionality 13y ago
      What about them? How does being called a faggot hurt someone who is, in fact, a faggot?
      - rfnslyr 13y ago
        It doesn't. People are so quick to point the finger at everyone but themselves. No, it's not ME who should decide how I feel, it's YOU that should censor what YOU say, for ME! Avoid, tell them to fuck off if need be, and continue. It's not a very difficult concept.
        transitionality 13y ago
        I have a feeling that this thread was started by (and is being steered by) a couple of social justice warriors, using a combination of their typical lies, guilt-tripping tactics, and anti-male sexism to socially engineer certain opinions. It's sad that they thought it would work.
        rfnslyr 13y ago

by rfnslyr 13y ago

pyrocat 13y ago

Then ask her about her career at the bank and if she ever felt it would've progressed more easily if she was male. Otherwise you're just making assumptions about her feelings.

rfnslyr 13y ago
No, we've spoken about this intensely. It is our view that if it is not physically hurting you, find a way to mitigate it or use it to your advantage. My Mother knows her self worth. Sexist comments and remarks don't do anything to her, because she doesn't let others determine who she is or how she feels. If someone calls me a "faggot", why would I get mad? I'm not a "faggot", so how can this persons words possibly shape me into one? It just helps her differentiate the people she wants to associate with, and the idiots she doesn't want to associate with. When you grow up in SHIT, you tend to get lost in meaningless details like insults from people that don't matter to you. When you are fending for your life every single day against criminals, rapists, murders, and starvation for the first 20 years of your life, meaningless bullshit like "the white male patriarchy" tends to get lost on you. Insults and ill treatment excite us because it adds fuel to our fire, you now have a weapon to use against somebody. When we get insulted, we don't get upset, we collect it, and use it against them because ultimately it's meaningless and it's THEIR problem, not mine. My Mom got to where she was by being great at her job and being a very thick skinned and clever social engineer. The assholes were left behind. She could have dwelled, but she didn't. She could have cried all day and night about some off hand remark that probably wasn't even intentionally sexist in nature, but she didn't, and neither should you. We don't believe in modern pseudo-feminism, sorry. I work with loads of women from third world countries that worked their asses off for their entire early lives just to afford themselves the CHANCE of making it by coming to a first world country with $0. If they don't get off, where do you get off? Check your privilege.
- callahad 13y ago
  > If someone calls me a "faggot", why would I get mad? I'm not a "faggot", so how can this persons words possibly shape me into one? It's fortunate that you can simply choose not to identify with that particular insult, but what about people who do identify as homosexual? Or who are genderqueer? Edit: Why does this matter? It's just especially shitty and dehumanizing when you identify as something that is seen as culturally acceptable to debase. Privilege is being able to dismiss things with "Hah! That's ridiculous! I'm not a Foo," which still allows room for and/or even implies the denigration of Foos. That's not to say you should deviate from your fuck-the-haters approach. It's great that you and your mother have sufficiently thick skin to forge ahead in spite of ill-informed discrimination, but not everyone has the same fortitude. The cultural norms we establish can go a long way toward creating a better context for everyone.
  - transitionality 13y ago
    What about them? How does being called a faggot hurt someone who is, in fact, a faggot?
    - rfnslyr 13y ago
      It doesn't. People are so quick to point the finger at everyone but themselves. No, it's not ME who should decide how I feel, it's YOU that should censor what YOU say, for ME! Avoid, tell them to fuck off if need be, and continue. It's not a very difficult concept.
      - transitionality 13y ago
        I have a feeling that this thread was started by (and is being steered by) a couple of social justice warriors, using a combination of their typical lies, guilt-tripping tactics, and anti-male sexism to socially engineer certain opinions. It's sad that they thought it would work.
        rfnslyr 13y ago