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"Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship. If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpo
by Matti 17y ago
"Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship. If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, disserves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer her full, undivided presence.
Admit to yourself that if you had to choose one or the other, the perfect intimate relationship or achieving your highest purpose in life, you would choose to succeed at your purpose. Just this self-knowledge often relieves much pressure a man feels to prioritize his relationship when, in fact, it is not his highest priority.
Your mission is your priority. Unless you know your mission and have aligned your life to it, your core will feel empty. Your presence in the world will be weakened, as will your presence with your intimate partner. The next to you notice yourself "giving in" to your woman, postponing your mission and denying your true purpose in order to spend time with her, stop. Tell your woman that you love her, but cannot deny your heart's purpose. Tell her that you will spend 30 minutes (or some specific time) with her in absolute attention and presence, but then you must return to carry on your mission.
Your woman will be more fulfilled with 30 minutes a day of undivided attention and ravishing love than she will with a few hours of your weak and divided presence when your heart really isn't into it. Time you spend with your woman should be time you really want to be with her more than anything else. If you'd rather be doing something else, she'll feel it. Both of you will be dissatisfied." -- David Deida, The way of the superior man
- sanj 17y agoThis is the same sort of misguided thinking that led to the broken notion of valuing "quality time" with kids over "quantity". It is wrong for kids and it is wrong for your significant other. Really wrong. It is also among the most self-indulgent, pseudo-liberating and painfully selfish hogwash I've read in a while. Maybe I just need to get out more. But for me, the sum of my relationships -- with my spouse, kids, partners, friends, parents and family -- is fundamental to who I am. I am going to change the world with my work. But it will be because of my relationships. Not in spite of them.
- DTrejo 17y agoDon't forget that there are a few "highest purposes." In no particular order: kids providing well for your kids healthy relationship with your (future?) spouse successful startup, etc Have you discussed with your girlfriend that your startup is not entirely for you? If you feel like you could live the rest of your life with her, then your startup is very much for her, your children, and your families in the long run. This isn't meant to answer your question, just to provide more food for thought.