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> "But that's not the world we live in, now is it?" Neither is it the world we aspire to. Taking an attitude of 'Well, what did you expect?' Is never going to

by amirmc 13y ago

> "But that's not the world we live in, now is it?" Neither is it the world we aspire to. Taking an attitude of 'Well, what did you expect?' Is never going to improve anything.

michaelochurch 13y ago
Ok, on that I can agree. Here's the issue. Kathy Sierra was attacked without provocation. Lena Chen used her sexuality in the public to gain attention (and, to a degree, social power). My levels of sympathy are different. Kathy Sierra was the lawful driver hit by a drunk. Lena Chen was the 120-mph speeder who ended up in a crash. Everyone speeds, and no one "deserves" to be in a crash for driving 120mph, but the laws of physics are not so kind. If we have to choose between enforcing DUI laws and redoing all our roads to make 120mph safe (which may not even be possible given the limits of most cars) then I'm going to take the former. The "Game" culture of casual sex-- and it's important to note that it's the culture and not the sex that is so revolting; sex that isn't in other peoples' face is none of anyone else's business-- has damaged respect between the genders and proven itself to be generally toxic. The prudent thing for a young woman to do is distance herself from it entirely, date respectable men, and have a private sex life existing in the context of monogamous relationships. If you're offended by the prior sentence, then switch the genders (or extend it to gays) and note that it's equally valid. I would advise a son not to have casual sex (false rape accusations, emotional problems that can afflict both men and women, reputation risks) just as fervently as a daughter. It's just a horrible culture that is best avoided outright.
- tptacek 13y ago
  Where I see mental illness is in the use of the word "power" (here "social power") to confer adversarial standing to anything that makes you uncomfortable, Michael. You do that a lot. It is extremely worrisome. In actual fact, writing a sex blog did not harm you or anyone else one iota. It was not in fact a provocation to harm the author. Rational adults can see this. You seem not to be able to. Your posts often seem like a cry for help. Please find some.
- feral 13y ago
  (I normally avoid discussions like this on HN.) >Lena Chen was the 120-mph speeder who ended up in a crash. If someone is speeding 120mph and crashes, we tend to generally accept its their fault. So the analogy implies the abuse was the victim's fault; if this wasn't intended, a different analogy might be better.

by amirmc 13y ago

> "But that's not the world we live in, now is it?" Neither is it the world we aspire to. Taking an attitude of 'Well, what did you expect?' Is never going to improve anything.

michaelochurch 13y ago

Ok, on that I can agree. Here's the issue. Kathy Sierra was attacked without provocation. Lena Chen used her sexuality in the public to gain attention (and, to a degree, social power). My levels of sympathy are different. Kathy Sierra was the lawful driver hit by a drunk. Lena Chen was the 120-mph speeder who ended up in a crash. Everyone speeds, and no one "deserves" to be in a crash for driving 120mph, but the laws of physics are not so kind. If we have to choose between enforcing DUI laws and redoing all our roads to make 120mph safe (which may not even be possible given the limits of most cars) then I'm going to take the former. The "Game" culture of casual sex-- and it's important to note that it's the culture and not the sex that is so revolting; sex that isn't in other peoples' face is none of anyone else's business-- has damaged respect between the genders and proven itself to be generally toxic. The prudent thing for a young woman to do is distance herself from it entirely, date respectable men, and have a private sex life existing in the context of monogamous relationships. If you're offended by the prior sentence, then switch the genders (or extend it to gays) and note that it's equally valid. I would advise a son not to have casual sex (false rape accusations, emotional problems that can afflict both men and women, reputation risks) just as fervently as a daughter. It's just a horrible culture that is best avoided outright.

tptacek 13y ago
Where I see mental illness is in the use of the word "power" (here "social power") to confer adversarial standing to anything that makes you uncomfortable, Michael. You do that a lot. It is extremely worrisome. In actual fact, writing a sex blog did not harm you or anyone else one iota. It was not in fact a provocation to harm the author. Rational adults can see this. You seem not to be able to. Your posts often seem like a cry for help. Please find some.
feral 13y ago
(I normally avoid discussions like this on HN.) >Lena Chen was the 120-mph speeder who ended up in a crash. If someone is speeding 120mph and crashes, we tend to generally accept its their fault. So the analogy implies the abuse was the victim's fault; if this wasn't intended, a different analogy might be better.