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"Talented or not, if you boost their self-esteem without making them earn it, why would they bother putting in the effort?" This. I was looking for a long time

by Evgeny 17y ago

"Talented or not, if you boost their self-esteem without making them earn it, why would they bother putting in the effort?" This. I was looking for a long time for a reason why just boosting self-esteem unconditionally is wrong, but could not find a proper wording - thank you.

ZeroGravitas 17y ago
You should read this book: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset_(book) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset_(book) Telling people they are "smart" or "talented" can make them defensive about that and afraid to fail, or think that putting in effort is a failure in itself. Of course not being afraid to fail, and putting in effort, is how you become "smart" and "talented" in the first place. (It's worth noting the book itself is a bit "American" and fluffy in parts, but the theory is good) Quote from the Wikipedia page: Education: Mindsets have origins, and parents, teachers and coaches happen to be key in their development. Every word or action they send is a message that can be either judgmental or developmental. The problem here is that the majority of the time parents, teachers and coaches do what they think is best for the child, without realizing that they are doing exactly the opposite. Sometimes, by praising children, they diminish them. Praise should be given to the effort and persistence rather than intelligence or talent. For example, if a child worked hard on his homework then he must be recognized, but if another child did the homework without much effort at all, but achieved the expected results, instead of praising him you should give him a more difficult task. The growth mindset in education focuses on expanding the students' knowledge and ways of thinking and investigating the world. Grades are not seen as an end in themselves, but as a means to continue to grow. The best thing to do is to teach children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. “Praise should deal, not with the child's personality attributes, but with his efforts and achievements“. - Haim Ginott
etal 17y ago
One of the top researchers on the topic of self-esteem being snake oil, along with Roy Baumeister, is Jean Twenge. She has a couple books: Generation Me [1] and The Narcissism Epidemic [2]. The online presence for both is strong: [1] http://www.generationme.org/ http://www.generationme.org/ [2] http://www.narcissismepidemic.com/ http://www.narcissismepidemic.com/

by Evgeny 17y ago

ZeroGravitas 17y ago

You should read this book: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset_(book) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset_(book) Telling people they are "smart" or "talented" can make them defensive about that and afraid to fail, or think that putting in effort is a failure in itself. Of course not being afraid to fail, and putting in effort, is how you become "smart" and "talented" in the first place. (It's worth noting the book itself is a bit "American" and fluffy in parts, but the theory is good) Quote from the Wikipedia page: Education: Mindsets have origins, and parents, teachers and coaches happen to be key in their development. Every word or action they send is a message that can be either judgmental or developmental. The problem here is that the majority of the time parents, teachers and coaches do what they think is best for the child, without realizing that they are doing exactly the opposite. Sometimes, by praising children, they diminish them. Praise should be given to the effort and persistence rather than intelligence or talent. For example, if a child worked hard on his homework then he must be recognized, but if another child did the homework without much effort at all, but achieved the expected results, instead of praising him you should give him a more difficult task. The growth mindset in education focuses on expanding the students' knowledge and ways of thinking and investigating the world. Grades are not seen as an end in themselves, but as a means to continue to grow. The best thing to do is to teach children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. “Praise should deal, not with the child's personality attributes, but with his efforts and achievements“. - Haim Ginott

etal 17y ago

One of the top researchers on the topic of self-esteem being snake oil, along with Roy Baumeister, is Jean Twenge. She has a couple books: Generation Me [1] and The Narcissism Epidemic [2]. The online presence for both is strong: [1] http://www.generationme.org/ http://www.generationme.org/ [2] http://www.narcissismepidemic.com/ http://www.narcissismepidemic.com/