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Reminds me of the time my wife's mother was very sick with cancer and we were at dinner and her dad was texting her updates. One time we happened to be at dinn

Reminds me of the time my wife's mother was very sick with cancer and we were at dinner and her dad was texting her updates. One time we happened to be at dinner and he sent her some messages so they were texting back and forth for 2-3m. During this time, the older gentleman at the table next to us actually says excuse me, can you get off your phone? You kids always being on your phone is getting really old. Because, you know, at 31, I personally embody ALL kids. I guess maybe the moral of the story for me is that we would probably be happier people if we weren't fretting about a harmless thing people were doing and instead focused on our own happiness. Maybe instead of sitting there getting grumpy that a stranger was looking at a screen this guy could have just had a conversation with the person at his table? Maybe its time for people to stop throwing a fit about things other people are doing and maybe that would make us all a bit happier.

jamestanderson 13y ago
I think you and the article raise some good points. I guess I'm vain enough to think that when I take someone out to lunch I expect at least the majority of their attention. I won't fault them for replying to a text. But if you're browsing Twitter/Facebook/whatever while I'm trying to have a conversation with you, I'd naturally be annoyed as I think anyone would. Wouldn't you? I'm surprised that the older gentleman would say something, though.
- ryguytilidie 13y ago
  I agree with you but "if you're browsing Twitter/Facebook/whatever while I'm trying to have a conversation with you, I'd naturally be annoyed as I think anyone would" just isn't relevant to the situation at hand. One of my main problems with the article is that the author projects the "this person must just be browsing twitter/fb and getting ZERO VALUE FROM ANYTHING THEY ARE DOING AND MUST BE UNHAPPY". Why does the possibility of this even enter the authors mind, let alone turn into a certainty?
DanielBMarkham 13y ago
This is a terrible comment, and I want to explain why. It subtly changes the subject. It's not about what others think of your technology use. It's what you think about it yourself. The reason many of us feel moved by the article and the video isn't some need to tell others what to do, it's the recognition that we ourselves are missing out on important parts of life in some kind of weird attempt to become a TV reporter. So sure, for the .1% time that you're texting your sick wife with cancer and she's able to vicariously experience things, you are probably feeling pretty good about what you're doing. Now how about the other 99.9% of the time? Do you personally feel that all that tech use is in the interests of some greater good? If so, have fun with it. After watching my own habits, I am very doubtful that this is true. I see people all the time use tech in such a way that's directly opposed to their own best interests -- and they're smart enough to realize this, too. The problem isn't my judging them -- heck I don't care what people do -- it's that we're turning into a society that's spending significant time doing things that we don't want to do. They just give a bit of immediate gratification.
- jgon 13y ago
  This is a terrible comment and I want to explain why. It uses hyperbolic language in an aggressive manner far out of proportion to content of the comment it is replying to. Youtube comments are generally terrible. Stormfront comments are terrible. 4Chan comments can be terrible. This comment had content directly related to article it was replying to, talking about the utility this technology can provide, and also that the main thrust of the article and the video it contains seems to be someone else's value judgement on what other people should enjoy. So sure, for the .1% of the time that a comment on this site is actually derailing or contains just blatant flamebait, trolling, attacks, etc it probably feels pretty good to call it out as terrible. But for the other 99.9% of the time? Have some perspective, grapple with the content of the comment, and do so in a non-aggressive manner entirely in proportion to what you are replying to. Don't go for the over the top hyperbole, no matter how much immediate gratification it gives you.
  - ryguytilidie 13y ago
    But he got to insult a stranger on the internet. How else is someone supposed to build their self esteem?? :(
gxespino 13y ago
Another great example of someone on HN trying to be the smartest most critical person in the room. You totally missed the point of the article.
- ryguytilidie 13y ago
  Huh? I think if you really want to make the "smartest most critical person in the room" argument, it might be for the guy who snarkily told off someone using their phone while their mom had cancer. But yeah, you're totally right, its not him, its me for even daring to propose that, hey, maybe instead of another rant on these damned kids using their cellphones, just stfu and let people do their thing. The constant judging while having no idea wtf you're talking about (your post here is a case in point) is getting really old. But I'll let you get back to, you know, putting down someone elses point in an attempt to feel like the smartest most critical person in the room. :)
- bdcravens 13y ago
  The author of the article is supposing that those incessantly using their phone are brainless zombies, preferring their phone to the lives around them. They didn't miss the point of the article, but rather, provided a great counterpoint.
DenisM 13y ago
Is anything ever "bad" for you? Even the worst thing can occasionally produce a positive outcome, by your logic we should leave them all alone just in case.
- ryguytilidie 13y ago
  I don't even understand what you're trying to get at here. Because I believe that it is inappropriate for someone to interrupt other people's dinner because one person is using their cell phone I must: A) Think that NOTHING is bad. B) We should leave everyone alone, even if they are doing the worst thing. Do you want to just start over with this point maybe? Seems like you maybe didn't think at all before making it the first time so I thought you might want another shot.
  - DenisM 13y ago
    >Do you want to just start over with this point maybe? Seems like you maybe didn't think at all before making it the first time Thanks for being rude. Your point, as I understand it, is that since there is one good use case for texting while eating, we should not discourage people from texting while eating in general. That is pretty clear from your post. My counter point is that there are many things that have one good use, but are still bad overall. Following your logic, we should not discourage those things either, at least if we wanted to stay consistent in our application of logic. Considering that even most bad things have occasional positive side-effect, and following your logic we would end up not discouraging anything ever. Clearly that is not a desirable outcome, therefore I think your logic is flawed.
    - ryguytilidie 13y ago
      If you think I was being rude and you were not, there is simply no helping you. "Your point, as I understand it, is that since there is one good use case for texting while eating, we should not discourage people from texting while eating in general. That is pretty clear from your post." Nope. My point is that when you see someone texting or on their cell. YOU DONT KNOW WHY THEY ARE DOING IT. Projecting a "they must be wasting their time, UGH I'm surrounded by brainless zombies" is utterly insane. My point is that instead of freaking out at people around you using their cellphones, maybe just don't freak out and project actions and emotions on people and mind your own business. How you took this to mean "you think nothing is ever wrong" is well beyond any stupidity I am able to comprehend. Sorry if that was rude, but it is also true unfortunately.
k-mcgrady 13y ago
The story you've laid out isn't the problem. The problem is when you are at lunch with someone and instead of conversing with you they are on their phone (in your example this is justifiable but I'm guessing most people aren't getting important updates - they're texting, or checking Twitter). It's rude (I don't think anyone can deny that). The person at the next table shouldn't give a shit - it's nothing to do with him. But I can be pissed off. In this example I care about what someone else is doing because it is directly negatively effecting me. I'm at lunch with them to talk and eat with them and they are ignoring me. It would be the same if you went out to lunch with someone 20 years ago and instead of talking to you they took out a notebook and started writing, or they simply stared out the window and completely ignored you.
- xlayn 13y ago
  Still not... Thinking is expensive... The problem is an economy one... You are basically consuming instead of creating... So the term "Zombie" I think is accurate, this is the new religion, the way of getting people think away of your first and main problem in life... life it's finite, what should you do to make it worth it. There are several things here, according to [1] getting people from just fit to society to have a character, and this is mine: to have an idea of life requires a process of evaluating and suffer, this is both expensive and not pleasant, and we are machines of pleasure. Just think about twitter... how many totally articulated ideas you can get on the tipical facebook post size? now shrink it to 140 chars... substract the space for hashes and you get vomited something someone else said.... No discussion, no food for your brain. Of course you may agree with this with inversely proportional occurrence to this statement to how much you like to analyze things... [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_Disintegration https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_Disintegration
  - xlayn 13y ago
    btw, as much as I hate to think this, HN is our FB. I'm not answering or working on the answer to the question, what great thing should I do with my life here... just the small immediate gratification... it's not just about the cell facebookers

jamestanderson 13y ago

I think you and the article raise some good points. I guess I'm vain enough to think that when I take someone out to lunch I expect at least the majority of their attention. I won't fault them for replying to a text. But if you're browsing Twitter/Facebook/whatever while I'm trying to have a conversation with you, I'd naturally be annoyed as I think anyone would. Wouldn't you? I'm surprised that the older gentleman would say something, though.

ryguytilidie 13y ago
I agree with you but "if you're browsing Twitter/Facebook/whatever while I'm trying to have a conversation with you, I'd naturally be annoyed as I think anyone would" just isn't relevant to the situation at hand. One of my main problems with the article is that the author projects the "this person must just be browsing twitter/fb and getting ZERO VALUE FROM ANYTHING THEY ARE DOING AND MUST BE UNHAPPY". Why does the possibility of this even enter the authors mind, let alone turn into a certainty?

DanielBMarkham 13y ago

This is a terrible comment, and I want to explain why. It subtly changes the subject. It's not about what others think of your technology use. It's what you think about it yourself. The reason many of us feel moved by the article and the video isn't some need to tell others what to do, it's the recognition that we ourselves are missing out on important parts of life in some kind of weird attempt to become a TV reporter. So sure, for the .1% time that you're texting your sick wife with cancer and she's able to vicariously experience things, you are probably feeling pretty good about what you're doing. Now how about the other 99.9% of the time? Do you personally feel that all that tech use is in the interests of some greater good? If so, have fun with it. After watching my own habits, I am very doubtful that this is true. I see people all the time use tech in such a way that's directly opposed to their own best interests -- and they're smart enough to realize this, too. The problem isn't my judging them -- heck I don't care what people do -- it's that we're turning into a society that's spending significant time doing things that we don't want to do. They just give a bit of immediate gratification.

jgon 13y ago
This is a terrible comment and I want to explain why. It uses hyperbolic language in an aggressive manner far out of proportion to content of the comment it is replying to. Youtube comments are generally terrible. Stormfront comments are terrible. 4Chan comments can be terrible. This comment had content directly related to article it was replying to, talking about the utility this technology can provide, and also that the main thrust of the article and the video it contains seems to be someone else's value judgement on what other people should enjoy. So sure, for the .1% of the time that a comment on this site is actually derailing or contains just blatant flamebait, trolling, attacks, etc it probably feels pretty good to call it out as terrible. But for the other 99.9% of the time? Have some perspective, grapple with the content of the comment, and do so in a non-aggressive manner entirely in proportion to what you are replying to. Don't go for the over the top hyperbole, no matter how much immediate gratification it gives you.
- ryguytilidie 13y ago
  But he got to insult a stranger on the internet. How else is someone supposed to build their self esteem?? :(

gxespino 13y ago

Another great example of someone on HN trying to be the smartest most critical person in the room. You totally missed the point of the article.

ryguytilidie 13y ago
Huh? I think if you really want to make the "smartest most critical person in the room" argument, it might be for the guy who snarkily told off someone using their phone while their mom had cancer. But yeah, you're totally right, its not him, its me for even daring to propose that, hey, maybe instead of another rant on these damned kids using their cellphones, just stfu and let people do their thing. The constant judging while having no idea wtf you're talking about (your post here is a case in point) is getting really old. But I'll let you get back to, you know, putting down someone elses point in an attempt to feel like the smartest most critical person in the room. :)
bdcravens 13y ago
The author of the article is supposing that those incessantly using their phone are brainless zombies, preferring their phone to the lives around them. They didn't miss the point of the article, but rather, provided a great counterpoint.

DenisM 13y ago

Is anything ever "bad" for you? Even the worst thing can occasionally produce a positive outcome, by your logic we should leave them all alone just in case.

ryguytilidie 13y ago
I don't even understand what you're trying to get at here. Because I believe that it is inappropriate for someone to interrupt other people's dinner because one person is using their cell phone I must: A) Think that NOTHING is bad. B) We should leave everyone alone, even if they are doing the worst thing. Do you want to just start over with this point maybe? Seems like you maybe didn't think at all before making it the first time so I thought you might want another shot.
- DenisM 13y ago
  >Do you want to just start over with this point maybe? Seems like you maybe didn't think at all before making it the first time Thanks for being rude. Your point, as I understand it, is that since there is one good use case for texting while eating, we should not discourage people from texting while eating in general. That is pretty clear from your post. My counter point is that there are many things that have one good use, but are still bad overall. Following your logic, we should not discourage those things either, at least if we wanted to stay consistent in our application of logic. Considering that even most bad things have occasional positive side-effect, and following your logic we would end up not discouraging anything ever. Clearly that is not a desirable outcome, therefore I think your logic is flawed.
  - ryguytilidie 13y ago
    If you think I was being rude and you were not, there is simply no helping you. "Your point, as I understand it, is that since there is one good use case for texting while eating, we should not discourage people from texting while eating in general. That is pretty clear from your post." Nope. My point is that when you see someone texting or on their cell. YOU DONT KNOW WHY THEY ARE DOING IT. Projecting a "they must be wasting their time, UGH I'm surrounded by brainless zombies" is utterly insane. My point is that instead of freaking out at people around you using their cellphones, maybe just don't freak out and project actions and emotions on people and mind your own business. How you took this to mean "you think nothing is ever wrong" is well beyond any stupidity I am able to comprehend. Sorry if that was rude, but it is also true unfortunately.

k-mcgrady 13y ago

The story you've laid out isn't the problem. The problem is when you are at lunch with someone and instead of conversing with you they are on their phone (in your example this is justifiable but I'm guessing most people aren't getting important updates - they're texting, or checking Twitter). It's rude (I don't think anyone can deny that). The person at the next table shouldn't give a shit - it's nothing to do with him. But I can be pissed off. In this example I care about what someone else is doing because it is directly negatively effecting me. I'm at lunch with them to talk and eat with them and they are ignoring me. It would be the same if you went out to lunch with someone 20 years ago and instead of talking to you they took out a notebook and started writing, or they simply stared out the window and completely ignored you.

xlayn 13y ago
Still not... Thinking is expensive... The problem is an economy one... You are basically consuming instead of creating... So the term "Zombie" I think is accurate, this is the new religion, the way of getting people think away of your first and main problem in life... life it's finite, what should you do to make it worth it. There are several things here, according to [1] getting people from just fit to society to have a character, and this is mine: to have an idea of life requires a process of evaluating and suffer, this is both expensive and not pleasant, and we are machines of pleasure. Just think about twitter... how many totally articulated ideas you can get on the tipical facebook post size? now shrink it to 140 chars... substract the space for hashes and you get vomited something someone else said.... No discussion, no food for your brain. Of course you may agree with this with inversely proportional occurrence to this statement to how much you like to analyze things... [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_Disintegration https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_Disintegration
- xlayn 13y ago
  btw, as much as I hate to think this, HN is our FB. I'm not answering or working on the answer to the question, what great thing should I do with my life here... just the small immediate gratification... it's not just about the cell facebookers