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I can't imagine myself caring enough to deal with this the way she did. I think it might be a gender gap thing - I literally can't understand this reaction. O

I can't imagine myself caring enough to deal with this the way she did. I think it might be a gender gap thing - I literally can't understand this reaction. Obviously I'm not an idiot, and would never cause this kind of pain to someone else, but it's foreign pain. It's the kind of pain I read about, and understand it exists in this world, but have no frame of reference for, like starvation or something like malaria. And what are employers doing, attempting to confront their employees about it? Are these employers not educated enough in how the Internet works to know precisely the intent of those who've contacted them with this information? Perhaps an employer notifies the victim of the harassment, but certainly doesn't attempt to take consequential action against the employee regarding the material.

ohazi 13y ago
> And what are employers doing, attempting to confront their employees about it? Are these employers not educated enough in how the Internet works to know precisely the intent of those who've contacted them with this information? Perhaps an employer notifies the victim of the harassment, but certainly doesn't attempt to take consequential action against the employee regarding the material. While I understand where you're coming from with this... it seems pretty naive/optimistic to honestly expect most people to behave this reasonably. Most people are not as smart as you and/or have some holier-than-thou moral perspective to throw into the mix and wouldn't have the first clue how to respond appropriately to something like this.
- bambax 13y ago
  Many people may indeed have a holier-than-thou moral perspective, but certainly not all of them?
prutschman 13y ago
It's commendable that you're able to recognize that you have no frame of reference for understanding the distress, but don't go on to dismiss it as irrelevant or the result of overreaction. Too many people stop at that first step.
tbrake 13y ago
I'm halfway in the same boat. I can't totally empathize with this scenario, but I can definitely understand that someone who sent someone else intimate pictures would feel violated at them finding their way into the public and topping search results for their name. And especially, as it seems, with contact information attached with them. Your second sentence would hint that you acknowledge there are different social forces at play here.
user24 13y ago
I undestand (and somewhat agree with) your reaction - but only if the photos/videos are anonymous. I don't like the idea of someone getting off to pictures of me, but so long as it's completely disassociated from my real life I think I'd be generally OK with it. But if someone sent my parents/employers/friends a video of me and my wife going at it, along with my very googleable name, I think I would feel violated in a whole different way. That changes the situation in a very important way, don't you think?
- bmelton 13y ago
  This may come off as insensitive, but I promise it isn't intended that way. If you're the sort of person that would have a problem with others getting off to pictures of you naked, don't take pictures of yourself naked. If that seems too restrictive, definitely don't take pictures of yourself naked and then give them to somebody else. If you have pictures of yourself naked, and have given them to somebody else, you should not be surprised if they ever make it onto the public internet. If you have pictures of yourself naked, and have not given them to somebody else, you should take exceptional care to ensure that they aren't stolen, hacked, lost or what have you. Delete them, shred them, destroy them.
deleted 13y ago
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ohazi 13y ago

> And what are employers doing, attempting to confront their employees about it? Are these employers not educated enough in how the Internet works to know precisely the intent of those who've contacted them with this information? Perhaps an employer notifies the victim of the harassment, but certainly doesn't attempt to take consequential action against the employee regarding the material. While I understand where you're coming from with this... it seems pretty naive/optimistic to honestly expect most people to behave this reasonably. Most people are not as smart as you and/or have some holier-than-thou moral perspective to throw into the mix and wouldn't have the first clue how to respond appropriately to something like this.

bambax 13y ago
Many people may indeed have a holier-than-thou moral perspective, but certainly not all of them?

prutschman 13y ago

It's commendable that you're able to recognize that you have no frame of reference for understanding the distress, but don't go on to dismiss it as irrelevant or the result of overreaction. Too many people stop at that first step.

tbrake 13y ago

I'm halfway in the same boat. I can't totally empathize with this scenario, but I can definitely understand that someone who sent someone else intimate pictures would feel violated at them finding their way into the public and topping search results for their name. And especially, as it seems, with contact information attached with them. Your second sentence would hint that you acknowledge there are different social forces at play here.

user24 13y ago

I undestand (and somewhat agree with) your reaction - but only if the photos/videos are anonymous. I don't like the idea of someone getting off to pictures of me, but so long as it's completely disassociated from my real life I think I'd be generally OK with it. But if someone sent my parents/employers/friends a video of me and my wife going at it, along with my very googleable name, I think I would feel violated in a whole different way. That changes the situation in a very important way, don't you think?

bmelton 13y ago
This may come off as insensitive, but I promise it isn't intended that way. If you're the sort of person that would have a problem with others getting off to pictures of you naked, don't take pictures of yourself naked. If that seems too restrictive, definitely don't take pictures of yourself naked and then give them to somebody else. If you have pictures of yourself naked, and have given them to somebody else, you should not be surprised if they ever make it onto the public internet. If you have pictures of yourself naked, and have not given them to somebody else, you should take exceptional care to ensure that they aren't stolen, hacked, lost or what have you. Delete them, shred them, destroy them.

deleted 13y ago

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