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I think you have your heart in the right place with this advice, but I don't agree. When you are standing in a line for food at a party, you can hardly call som

I think you have your heart in the right place with this advice, but I don't agree. When you are standing in a line for food at a party, you can hardly call someone talking to you, an "ambush". And if both people look like they belong at the party, the assumption would not be that this person is "a random creep".

peterwwillis 13y ago
Perhaps I read too much into the original comment. This is why the suggestions seemed creepy to me: > Getting talking to a big group is hard; it's easier with singles or couples. So my initial reaction is, this person is trying to target one or two people because they're "easier", almost as if they have less of a defense against your approach. > The drinks or food line is a chance to get talking to people when they've peeled off from their group. This immediately made me think of the previous line, and sort of hunting for a lone person to attack once they've left the safety of the pack. I don't think talking to someone in line is creepy at all. But no matter where you engage them (food line/bar/bathroom/etc), if you've been waiting for someone to leave their group just to talk to them, that is creepy. However, it could be that the commenter was not suggesting to do this at all and I misinterpreted.
- noelwelsh 13y ago
  Let me clarify. If you see a big group of people talking they probably all know each other (or there will be one person, such as a speaker at an event, holding court). Getting into such a group will be awkward. You'll either break up their banter while you do introductions, or you'll stand there smiling like an idiot while not getting all the in-jokes and being mostly unable to contribute. (If there is one person holding court you can work your way in, but these conversations are rarely productive.) Hence the rest. I'm not suggesting you wait to ambush a particular person when they leave a group. I'm suggesting you talk to whoever happens to be behind you in line. Similarly, with couples or single people it is easier to have those initial conversations where you search for common ground.

peterwwillis 13y ago

Perhaps I read too much into the original comment. This is why the suggestions seemed creepy to me: > Getting talking to a big group is hard; it's easier with singles or couples. So my initial reaction is, this person is trying to target one or two people because they're "easier", almost as if they have less of a defense against your approach. > The drinks or food line is a chance to get talking to people when they've peeled off from their group. This immediately made me think of the previous line, and sort of hunting for a lone person to attack once they've left the safety of the pack. I don't think talking to someone in line is creepy at all. But no matter where you engage them (food line/bar/bathroom/etc), if you've been waiting for someone to leave their group just to talk to them, that is creepy. However, it could be that the commenter was not suggesting to do this at all and I misinterpreted.

noelwelsh 13y ago
Let me clarify. If you see a big group of people talking they probably all know each other (or there will be one person, such as a speaker at an event, holding court). Getting into such a group will be awkward. You'll either break up their banter while you do introductions, or you'll stand there smiling like an idiot while not getting all the in-jokes and being mostly unable to contribute. (If there is one person holding court you can work your way in, but these conversations are rarely productive.) Hence the rest. I'm not suggesting you wait to ambush a particular person when they leave a group. I'm suggesting you talk to whoever happens to be behind you in line. Similarly, with couples or single people it is easier to have those initial conversations where you search for common ground.