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Even though I find it draining to be in social scenarios, I remain suspicious of this introvert/extrovert divide. I find it draining to be in social scenarios b

Even though I find it draining to be in social scenarios, I remain suspicious of this introvert/extrovert divide. I find it draining to be in social scenarios because I mostly don't like people. It wasn't always this way and I don't think it has anything to do with some intrinsic, immutable quality of myself. And I certainly don't think it's some special thing that others need to respect about me and so forth. That's the part that really grates for me, the implication that there is some special class of person that needs to be treated with kid gloves, and "respected" (i.e. condescended to) in certain ways. Just be honest, you want people to fuck off. I certainly do. Same thing with "flow" - if you can't do your work because of extremely minor distractions like people walking by your desk, are you actually good at it? If it takes you 12 hours to get into the zone, whose fault is that?

goldenkey 13y ago
It's really interesting how this whole introvert/extrovert thing has gained mass validation when it's mere hogwash. Yet it requires a strong self detachment to not get sucked in by the bs banter. I don't lose energy when I'm around people I know well, because I'm comfortable. When I'm nervous, and fidgety, in strange places that aren't my comfort zone, clearly I'm going to become fatigued by the extra energy spent on biological systems that deal with anxiety. I have never adapted to strange situations very quickly because I'm somewhat haphazard to trusting the unknown. It really grates me to hear people accept their lack of social ability as a given, when the fact of the matter is, the more you throw yourself out there, and make strange conversation comfortable, the less energy it will take next time. Same goes with riding a bike, or driving a car. Get used to it, and you won't be as drained next time. Everyone starts at a different point due to upbringing and aggregate social experience. Like anything, training helps make it easier next time. This goes for sociality no different than programming.
derefr 13y ago
> if you can't do your work because of extremely minor distractions like people walking by your desk, are you actually good at it? Do you expect people who swallow swords to be able to do it when someone slaps their back every five minutes?

goldenkey 13y ago

It's really interesting how this whole introvert/extrovert thing has gained mass validation when it's mere hogwash. Yet it requires a strong self detachment to not get sucked in by the bs banter. I don't lose energy when I'm around people I know well, because I'm comfortable. When I'm nervous, and fidgety, in strange places that aren't my comfort zone, clearly I'm going to become fatigued by the extra energy spent on biological systems that deal with anxiety. I have never adapted to strange situations very quickly because I'm somewhat haphazard to trusting the unknown. It really grates me to hear people accept their lack of social ability as a given, when the fact of the matter is, the more you throw yourself out there, and make strange conversation comfortable, the less energy it will take next time. Same goes with riding a bike, or driving a car. Get used to it, and you won't be as drained next time. Everyone starts at a different point due to upbringing and aggregate social experience. Like anything, training helps make it easier next time. This goes for sociality no different than programming.

derefr 13y ago

> if you can't do your work because of extremely minor distractions like people walking by your desk, are you actually good at it? Do you expect people who swallow swords to be able to do it when someone slaps their back every five minutes?