Thank goodness there are thousands of people being paid to prevent me from spitting in a tube and getting noisy data about my own body! I should only be able to

Thank goodness there are thousands of people being paid to prevent me from spitting in a tube and getting noisy data about my own body! I should only be able to get data about my body after running a gauntlet of specialists with millions of dollars in total education, for my protection, of course.